Soul Pancake

Web site I enjoy these days:

Soul Pancake

From the Twitter description, Soul Pancake is a place to speak your mind, unload your questions, and figure out what it means to be human.  Divided into three parts, a would-be surfer can 1) ask and discuss various philosophical questions, 2) partake in some activities like snapping a photo of your feet standing still or write about the first time you head mind blowing music or 3) dive into perspectives by some interesting people.  

Refreshing.  Fun.  A great way to take your mind off of the mundane banality of everyday responsibilities and annoying stresses.   I mean we all need a little soul pancake once in awhile, right?  I prefer mine with real maple syrup and not that artificial HFCS crap.  Just saying.

Life in a Day

We measure our days in 24 hour increments.  A day can pass in an instant or drag on for, what feels like, forever.  We wake up, go about our tasks, work, move through the mundane and the exceptional with equal awareness or lack thereof.  In between, there are amusements and distractions.  If lucky, there are also moments of transcendent joy . . . time spent learning, growing, connecting with the world and those around us.  Then we sleep and it starts all over again.  In the grand scheme, a day is a blip.  You blink and time has moved on.  

But what is really in a day?  What if we could take one day, one random day, and document it from the vantage point of hundreds of people around the world?  What would we see?  

This is exactly what you will find in the documentary Life in a Day.  Incredibly rich and engaging, the film reveals the universal moments for all of humanity -- morning ritual of waking up and getting ready for the day, the tasks of acquiring food, going to work, etc.  Then there are births, deaths, accidents and surprises.  Video taken by so many was woven together to tell a story of us and who we are.  The story of a single day on this planet reveals how much we share while also illustrating our interesting differences.  From the very first scenes, I was pulled in.  For those who make a habit of studying society, culture and human behavior, Life in a Day provides enough thought starters to keep you busy for awhile.  Check it out and let me know what you think of it.  

The Past Versus the Future

I didn't attend my 20 year high school class reunion this weekend.  The timing of this event landed, most unfortunately, about six days after we moved to Seattle and 4 days after I started a new job.  With all of the driving, flying, packing, etc. it just ended up to be too much to justify yet another trip and all of the expenses that go along with it.  So, I did not RSVP and I did not go. 

Over the course of the weekend, I found myself thinking about my classmates, hometown and the reunion gathering with both sadness and a little regret.  Memories of fun times mingled with a certain odd and lingering melancholy.  Unable to put my finger on my nagging feelings, I've wrestled with a notion that stretches beyond mere interest in being part of the celebration and catching up with everyone.  Truth be told, many of the people from high school that I would want to keep in touch with, I already do via Facebook.  I don't like that I missed out, but this pain in my heart isn't really about that. 

No.  Mine seems to be much more of an existential angst.  A pull and tug between past and future and I'm living somewhere in the in-between.  My soul feels unsettled by all this new and different.  As humans, I'm convinced we are all moored to the familiar places and people we've grown close to and accustomed to.  Someone recently told me that it is our habits and routines that provide us with our self-identify.  What happens when we no longer have the known frame of reference and we have to carve a new set of rituals and routines?  An identity without an anchor is a tough, tough thing.  Then, it is followed by the pull of a history of who I once was.  The remembrances of past consciousness cuts jaggedly across the quest for a reinvention of sorts.  I'm not who I was.  I'm not yet who I want to be.  I am.  I'm not.  Who am I?

I realize this probably all reads like some crazy Nietzsche-type rambling.  I get it.  I also realize this too shall pass.  It is momentary and fleeting.  In two weeks, two months, two years, my ego will once again be intact, my soul once more anchored and my identity fully formed with fully ingrained habits and routines.  Ahh, relief.  To feel comfortable and whole.  But, with this wholeness comes the dull and itchy sense that discomfort leads to growth and self-discovery. Ok, and now I could pull in a whole Harry Potter reference of soul's in separation and cursed objects and well . . . I'll just end it there. 

Maybe this is the way it always goes.  The past remains in constant and continual battle with the future.  Both of them pull at you but is it possible to exist comfortably in both states at the same time?  

Enough Nietzschean angst for the night.  I need to go watch Entourage. 

My Bestest beyond all the Restest.

This is ghost/visiting writing Dee coming at you from the interwebs.....I know, I haven't written in a long, long while.

Ok, so this blog is supposed to be about "MY BESTS" and the truth is, I haven't even written about one of my BESTESTS BESTS!

My sister and I, like most siblings, have had our ups and downs. We have fought, made up, fought again, had differences of opinion, and had so many belly laughs along the way that it would be impossible to count them all...even if you had an abacus. It is hard to be a sister. I have surmised that it is probably the most complicated relationship in my life. We can be hard on eachother at times...but....there is so much love there. I don't think there is anyone in my family who has supported me more throughout my life than my sister has. She is the only one who has been with me through it all.

I was very sad to see her leave Minnesota. I don't think I told her that, but I should have. I should have sat her down and said that I didn't appreciate her enough when she was in close proximity to me. I should have told her that I wanted more laughs that make us pull over to the side of the road because we can't drive through the tears. I should have told her that the little things about her, like her nods of understanding during a long talk over a cup of coffee, mean the most to me. I guess I just always thought that she would be here ready to hang out whenever we could find a chance. Now that I have to hop a flight to see her and she is farther away from me....well, I get all welled up just thinking about what I haven't said to her.

Even though I will miss her, I am SO EXCITED for her next great adventure. She is doing what I want to do. She is doing what most people want to do in this life. She is throwing out her net into uncharted seas so she can discover what is there. She is taking a plunge (and she isn't even plugging her nose!) into the deep, looking for more. It is wonderful. It is brave. I am so very proud of her. I want her to find meaning and joy and adventure in this new life. I want everything for her that you can want for someone that you love so very much.

I want everything for her. EV-VER-EEEE-THING.

I am booking my ticket, Sweet Friend, for a long talk and a cup of coffee. I can't wait to see you again!

Road Trippin

Mr. Oz, lil doggy Ozy and I are road tripping to our new home this week.  We are taking a big step and moving to Seattle, WA.  Good-bye harsh Minnesota winters and hello drizzly and cloudy temperate climes.  The whole moving thing has been one interesting ride thus far and I'm sure it will only get more interesting as the days and weeks ahead.  But, as some of you can attest to given your personal proximity to me over the course of this past year . . . it was time for a change.  Life's far too short to live in "we should's" and "what if's."  Best to drink up life like water shooting out of a garden hose on full blast.  There have been several events in the recent months that have caused me to pause, take stock of my own happiness and reflect more deeply on who it is I am and who it is I want to be.  All of this soul searching has led me to a new path of exploration, personal growth and a strong desire to break out of my comfort zone.  While it will likely be challenging, I think it will also be liberating.  I think this quote/story from Wayne Dyer does a nice job of summing up some of my thoughts on the topic:

The Bushman in the Kalahari Desert talk about two "hungers."
There is the Great Hunger and there is the Little Hunger.
The Little Hunger wants food for the belly; but the Great Hunger,
the greatest hunger of all, is the hunger for meaning...
There's ultimately only one thing that makes human beings deeply and profoundly bitter,
and that is to have thrust upon them a life without meaning...
There is nothing wrong in searching for happiness...
But of far more comfort to the soul...is something greater than happiness
or unhappiness, and that is meaning. Because meaning transfigures all...
Once what you are doing has for you meaning, it is irrelevant whether you're happy
or unhappy. You are content—you are not alone in your Spirit—you belong.

— Sir Laurens van der Post from Hasten Slowly, a film by Mickey Lemle

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Wayne-Dyer-on-Ambition-with-Meaning#ixzz1TH9qSgJL

So, with that . . . off we go!  

The last few weeks have been crazy.  I left my job of 5+ years with a really awesome company and wonderful colleagues and friends.  I accepted a new job with another cool company working on a fun brand in a category that I absolutely love.  Mr. Oz and I got our home ready to put on the market, we took a house hunting trip and are in the midst of packing up for our journey to the Pacific Northwest.  Whew.  

As this blog is all about documenting My Bests, I guess I feel compelled to say that Minneapolis is certainly a big ole Best for me.  It is just a wonderful city filled with a relaxed and progressive vibe, great art, tasty food, beautiful scenery, hard-working and down to earth people and, well, I just love it.  It's tough to leave, but am hopeful that I will find another BEST in Seattle and can then lay claim to living in not one, but two, amazing cities.  Oh how I will miss this place.  Of course, I will continue my blogging adventures from my new locale and will include my new-found favorites and, if need be, my not so favorites.  

One really neat aspect of taking a long road trip is compiling the tunes and various audio books we plan to listen to on the 22 hour ride out.  Mr. Oz and I have sifted through many options for the perfect road trippin entertainment.  Here is what we have so far:

The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan -- some fantasy yummy with mystical creatures thrown in for good measure

Unfamiliar Fishes by Sarah Vowell  -- Oh Sarah, you zany historian you.  

Unconditional Confidence: Instructions for Meeting Any Experience with Trust and Courage by Pema Chodron -- Pema is a Buddhist teacher who specializes in expanding consciousness through meditation and positive thought.  Seems perfect. 

Cryptonomicon by Neil Stephenson -- this is a sci-fi book that has been on my must read list for some time now but haven't gotten to it. 

I think we have plenty if you throw in a few podcasts here and there, but am open to other suggestions you might have.  Any others I should consider? 

Linchpin

I've been reading the book Linchpin by Seth Godin and find myself highlighting a lot of the passages.  So many pearls of wisdom . . . Seth writes a lot about the importance of being remarkable.  Work, he proclaims, should be the employee's "art."  It is about moving beyond mediocrity and investing more emotion.  It is about going well beyond just showing up and, instead, making waves.  Very inspiring stuff.  Here are just a few of the passages I've made not of so far:

"The cause of the suffering is the desire of organizations to turn employees into replaceable cogs in a vast machine.  The easier people are to replace, the less they need to be paid.  And so far, workers have been complicit in this commoditization.  This is your opportunity.  The indispensable employee brings humanity and connection and art to her organization.  She is the key player, the one who's difficult to live without, the person you can build something around."

"Consumers are not loyal to cheap commodities.  They crave the unique, the remarkable, and the human.  Sure, you can always succeed for a while with the cheapest, but you earn your place in the market with humanity and leadership.  It's certainly possible for a shopper to buy food more cheaply than they sell it at Trader Joe's.  But Trader's keeps growing, because the combination of engaged employees, cutting edge products and fun brings people back.  Even people trying to save a buck.  The cheap strategy doesn't scale very well, so the only way to succeed is to add value by amplifying the network and giving workers a platform, not by forcing them to pretend to be machines.  The fickle nature of price-shopping consumers is bad news for many companies, the companies that tried to be the cheap at all costs, because now they must figure out how to make a profit from expensive, unique disobedient employees.  Those are the only two choices.  Win by being more ordinary, more standard and cheaper.  Or win by being faster, more remarkable and more human."

I like the idea of our own humanity pushing us to deeper connection not only with those around us, but also with our own sense of purpose in our professional lives.  Thank you Seth. 

Authentic Narrative

Just because I like this . . . 

“Story is the underlying basis for our lives—the underpinning that guides our actions,” says futurist Duane Elgin, author of Awakening Earth. “Authentic narratives empower us to see the big picture of the human journey and a clear pathway ahead. Instead of a time of despair, this is a time of transition and there are ‘beacons of hope’ drawing us into a promising future. 

Language Revolution Yo

Language is a living thing.  It morphs and bends, builds and undulates.  New words are born and some words die.  Some are twisted to work in different ways, in completely unique forms and uses.  With this in mind, I'm determined to be a language revolutionist.  My quest -- to spark a wave not unlike the bouncing beach ball wave that happens in stadiums during large sporting events.  I want to identify a new word that takes off and alters the very fabric of society.  Seriously.  This is my dream. 

I will, from time to time, try out my new words on y'all.   While I want your feedback, what I REALLY want is for all of you to adopt my new language and spread it far and wide.  I want to hear it on the streets and on t.v.  I want Matt Lauer to use it on the Today Show and Tre Park and Matt Stone to include it in an episode of Southpark.  C'mon.  We can do this!  Inventing language . .  yipee.  

OK, so here are a few for you to chew on.  

Glug.  Not a new word, I know.  But consider using it in a different way . . . as a noun.  So, when you go to the 7-Eleven and get a Big Gulp or you buy one of those 24 ounce sodas.  That is called a Glug.  Used in a sentence, "I drank a whole glug of that Dr. Pepper this afternoon and now I have to pee."  Glug as a noun is an awesome word.  

Maybe it would be more palatable if I put it into a bigger context?

Walking into a coffee shop, I approach the counter and order.

Me:  "Hi, I'd like a glug of non-fat latte with hazelnut please?"

Coffee shop employee:  "What?  Excuse me?  You want what?"

Me:  "A glug . . . you know, the biggest size you've got.  The kind of drink you can just chug and glug." 

Coffee shop employee:  "Ahhh, yes.  A glug.  Got it.  I will now change my menu and call our large size, a glug."  

Me:  "Thanks!"

You in?  

Here's another one.  We've all heard of a Blackberry, right?  Not the fruit.  The smart phone thingy that business-people types use to send emails and check stock reports and stuff.  Of course, some refer to the Blackberry as a crackberry due to users' seeming addiction to the technology and instant access.  I see your crackberry and raise you a Dingleberry.  We need to start referring to Blackberrys as Dingleberrys people.  I won't go into all my reasons why, but I think it works.  It hangs.  It dangles.  It dingles.  It's like that thing you can't shake. 

Thank you for your consideration.  Remember, you heard it hear first.  

My business cards with new title of "Language Revolutionist" will soon be printed. 

Apparently Australians Are Known for Their Licorice

Did you know that Aussie's are really good at making licorice?  I wasn't aware of this until very recently when I was out doing some shopping with my friend J-Hawk.  She bought a bag of some "fancy" licorice and offered me a sample.  OMG.  It was divine . . . intense fruity smell, soft and pliable texture, flavorful burst of strawberry in my mouth.  My interest was piqued.  I grabbed the bag and saw it claimed to be the finest of Australian licorice.  Now, I know the Aussie's are great at many things including Olympic swimming, Crocodile hunting and throwing shrimps on the barbie.  I had never heard of their prowess at making confections and sweet treats. 

My favorite brands, thus far, are Kookaburra and Darrell Lea.  In my research, I found that Darrell Lea has been making licorice since 1927 AND it is fat free and low in salt.  See below for excerpt from online review in case you don't believe me: 

Since 1927, Darrell Lea has been creating delicious and unique soft eating liquorice for Australians. The finest ingredients are combined to produce a soft treat that is 98% fat free and low in salt. Liquorice, with its nourishing qualities, is great to enjoy any occasion and Darrell Lea soft eating liquorice is best enjoyed straight from the bag.

Hey, it has nourishing qualities.  Yeah it does.  

I absolutely love discovering things like this.  Makes me feel like I'm on the cutting edge . . . a trendsetter who is way "in the know."  Unfortunately now I am addicted to the stuff.  Every time I go to the store, I look for this delightful Australian licorice. I have a stash at my desk at work, in my car and at home.  Word must be getting out and sales must be up as I've seen more and more stores carry the candy.  However, the down side of this is also more out-of-stocks.  Just today I was in Target and where there were once six facings of Darrell Lea licorice, all I saw was empty space.  Target was completely OUT.  Gone.  None.  What did I find instead?  Market Pantry 'Aussie-style chewy candy.'  Target is making their own Australian licorice, er, "Aussie style."  It's not really Australian you see.  It only pretends to be.  Poser.  

Ok, Ok.  I bought it.  It tastes good.  Dammit. 

Oh and Wiley Wallaby also makes an Australian Style licorice.  Also tasty, but manufactured in Perham, MN.  

If I worked for Twizzler, I'd be looking into the secrets of Aussie licorice making ASAP.  Those Aussie's must be stealing share. Who knew the licorice category could be so competitive?

Thank you Australia.  I salute you. 

Weekend Get-Away

To celebrate our upcoming 3 year wedding anniversary, Mr. Oz and I took a little weekend get-away to the Wisconsin Dells.  For those of you familiar with the Dells, you may have images of indoor water parks, theme rides and various touristy establishments burned into your memory.  Places like this may come to mind:

While we saw plenty of this kind of stuff, we didn't stay at a theme park filled with screaming kiddos.  Not this time.  Instead, we went here:  Sundara Inn & Spa.  It.  Was.  Awesome.  I suppose its not for everyone.  If you don't like relaxing spa treatments, spacious villas equipped with tranquil lighting, music, comfy robes, big ole jacuzzi and related amenities, well, than this place would not be for you.  If you are into all that stuff, then you might like it.  

Now, I'm not a child-hater.  Really, I'm not.  I love kids, especially cute little babies when they are all "goo goo" and "ga ga."  But, I have to say, it was really nice to stay at a kid free resort.  Quiet.  Peaceful.  My guess is this would be a welcome retreat for parents who just needed to get away from the little tykes for a few days.  To ensure the peace is preserved, Sundara posts signs notifying people to leave their electronic devices in their room and to silence cell phones.  Again, bravo.  I'd highly recommend booking a spa treatment.  I had an 80 minute organic facial and it was pure heaven.  

Was good to leave our everyday behind and escape even for a few days.  Renewal of spirit amidst the cheese shops and water slides?  Yes, it can be done.  Try it if you are looking for a some quality quiet time. 

The Dream Society

I've been reading a good book called The Dream Society by Rolf Jensen.  It's one of those books that disguises itself as a business book, but is really much, much more.  I'd call it a philosophical exploration of life and the purpose of work within one's life.  Lots of stuff to ponder particulary if you are, in anyway, struggling with questions of meaning and career.  For Jensen, the dream society is a utopian view of what work will (or should) look like in the not too distant future.  He describes the dream society as "a new society in which businesses, communities, and people as individuals will thrive on the basis of their stories, not just data and information."  As this quote may indicate, Jensen places a great deal of emphasis on the power of stories.  Dreaming and stories are of utmost importance in the future state he conjures up.  It is linked to innovation and forward progress; necessary to create and breakthrough with new technology and products. 

Much of what Jensen has to say reminds me of Marxist theory from my grad school days.  He sees Marx's vision of revolution and dynamic change of the means of production as something occuring in the here and now.  Workers hold intellectual capital and their knowledge.  It is this, and not the productivity of machines, which fuels the dream society corporation. 

Here is the best part of Jensen's book for me, so far (I'm about half way through it).  He writes about success and the concept of "hard fun."  It's not just about a paycheck.  We've all heard that before, right?  Well, Jensen goes on to assert that success is really about finding challenging and meaningful work.  In Mazlow's hierarchy of needs, the need of idealization or "the search for a purpose beyond oneself" is critical.  Again, the idea of finding a higher purpose in your professional life is not anything terribly unique or new.  Where Jensen diverges a bit from the usual sentiment is how he links this concept of idealization to the notion that companies, in order to survive and prosper, absolutely need this.  It is not optional.  It can't be just a passing fancy for a handful of troubled workers.  Everyone has to subscribe to this and foster it within the corporation in order for the corporation to make it.  The dream society requires focus on self-actualization through the acquisition of meaning and the transfer of that meaning onto that which we create and put forward into the world.  Without this, we will never achieve the dream society Jensen imagines for us.  Okay Jensen.  I'm listening. 

Heavy stuff.  Important stuff.  Stuff worth thinking about.  What dreams do you have for yourself?  For your family?  For your work?  Are you in control of your own means of production?  If not, who or what is?  Have you found, for yourself, "a purpose beyond" yourself?  Is it possible to connnect this purpose to real dollars and a livable wage or is Jensen just a big, fat dreamer? 

I'm not sure, but I'd like to give the dream society a little visit and see for myself.

The Stress is Messing with my Sleeps

Stress.  We've all had it.  We've all been there.  Sometimes, try as you might, you just can't shake the worry and anxiety.  It creeps into your brain, plants its little roots and takes hold.  Such has been the situation with me lately.  I am experiencing restless sleep.  Last night I could not fall asleep.  Tossing and turning all night, no position was comfortable.  Finally, I just gave up and got out of bed at 4am.  Why not?  My mind was ceaselessly racing with the litany of tasks I needed to accomplish at work, household chores and other such ridiculousness.  Seriously.  Annoying.  

So, I know what you are asking.  "Why so stressed panda bear?"  Well, first I have a lot of #h*$ going on.  Transferred to a new role at work so have new projects, team members, boss, deadlines, etc.  Still doing some of my previous job as my successor is not set to take over until May.  Two jobs?  Sure.  Not that I'm doing either one terribly well or anything.  I guess it really is true.  There is only one of you and, darn it, you just can't split me or clone me.  Maybe someday modern science will figure out how to genetically replicate someone so corporations can just make their own work force and only have to pay one person's salary and benefits.  I wonder if the government would step in and regulate this practice or if they would just assume positive intent and let the free market system work it all out on its own. Not that this blog is a critique of capitalism run a muck or anything.  I'm just sayin.  Bygones.  

Where was I?  Oh yes, stress due to work.  Been traveling lately.  Spent all last week in Austin, TX (for work) and have a trip to Arkansas this week, followed by Florida next week and back to Texas the week after that.  Wrap it all up in Phoenix at the end of May.  All for work.  Too much travel also stresses me out.  I really hate the packing, coordinating, TSA security lines, bag checking, flight delaying (I'm referring to you Delta youknowwhoyouare), rental car renting, hotel staying, etc.  Sure, it's lots of fun when you are on vacation, but as a weekly activity it leaves a lot to be desired.  Hey, this isn't the 1970's when air travel was cool and passengers could smoke in the cabin whilst hoisting back highballs of scotch and soda that just kept flowing from happy, pretty ladies who tended to your every request.  Now you're lucky if you get a small plastic cup of Diet Coke and some complimentary pretzels while they cram you in like sardines and the overworked flight attendants barely flash a smile (Again, Delta, c'mon).  bygones.

What else?  So, my beloved doggy Oz had surgery a few weeks back.  He had some eye issues and his cornea wouldn't heal properly.  Developed 'melting cornea' syndrome which essentially means degenerative tissue loss.  He was in danger of losing his eye so we did what any adoring pet owner would do.  We forked over bank for a tissue graft.  Medicines and check-ups followed (and are still following), but he seems to be healing well and almost back to his naughty little self.  Sigh.  Still, worried about him.  Worry.

Tax day?!?  Need I say more?  

Then you have Japan tsunamis, earthquakes, the rising price of gasoline, Libya, the firing of Gilbert Godfrey as the voice of the Aflac duck.  I mean, how much can a person take?  

My solution.  Read stories like this one on the interwebs.  It suggests "Try to isolate what your thoughts are telling you and see if they are reasonable. If not, question your thoughts - why am I thinking this? Is this necessarily true? You will soon be able to monitor your responses and thereby reduce stress."  Hmm.  Isolating my thoughts?  Why didn't I think of that.  Isolate this Insomnia Connection.com. Then there is this whole fight or flight thing.  Cortisol build-up.  I'm a walking time bomb. 

I long for a simpler time when anxiety was a distant and infrequent visitor.  I want to move to Costa Rica and make tiki torches to sell to tourists by day and pour delicious libations for them to drink at night.  I want to see the stars lit up in the night sky and feel the cool tropical breezes.  Rat races are for the rats.  

I guess I'll just drink a glass of wine and take an Advil PM and see if that works.  Hamsters need to stay off the wheel for a night.  Must.  Get.  Sleep. 

Trippin

Sometimes, just sometimes, people be trippin.  

Yo.

Flash Mob Phenomenon

Been pondering the strange flash mob phenomenon as of late. Trying to wrap my head around the popularity of the seemingly spontaneous outburst of a large group of people into semi-choreographed dance or song numbers. Why are people drawn to this concept? What, at it's core, is so appealing about this type of activity? I suppose, on the surface, the novelty of it all can help to explain the initial interest. You started to see these mob dances pop up everywhere a few years ago in train stations and college campuses. It was fun and inventive. Then, others took on the flash mob concept and started to use it to make political statements and social commentary on topics such as anti-bullying, pro-choice and human rights. Nothing like getting corporations and govt. officials to take notice of a special issue like 100+ people jumping up in synchronized movement to the beat. Now, it seems, academia and cultural observers have taken to analyze the "movement." 

No surprise that a mass activity like flash mobs might spur on some critical assessment. But, what does it mean? I mean now Howie Mandel hosts a show on one of the major t.v. networks entitled "Mobbed." The premise is simple: find someone who wants to tell off a neighbor, quit a lame job or ask his girlfriend to marry him, organize a flash mob and then make a statement in a big way. Uhm, ok. What gives? Is this our age's version of plane writing in the sky? Have we realized the ineffectiveness of driving around neighborhoods with a blaring megaphone? Are we all going flash mob?

Considering this phenom a bit further, I boil down the lure of the flash mob to a couple of fundamental human needs or desires. First, we like to belong to something bigger than ourselves. We want to be a part of the action and in the know. Taking part in a cause or event provides us with a sense of purpose and meaning. I think this is one reason why people join churches, clubs and teams. Secondly, it's about making a statement. Getting noticed and having an impact. We are more than the sum of our parts and a flash mob illustrates this idea in a tangible (and rhythmic) way.

Another metaphor for a life well lived . . . Get in the action. Be a part of something bigger than you alone. Engage in the world around you even if it only lasts the length of a 3 minute song. Don't be afraid to wave your arms around a little bit. Who cares who is watching. Make a statement.

Good stuff.  Now here's a flash mob for your viewing pleasure:

Aperture and Perspective

Spent the day at a beginner's digital photography class at the Minneapolis Photo Center.  I've had my DSLR for well over a year and was perpetually shooting in auto mode.  Without the proper understanding of my camera's functionality, my pictures were completely hit or miss.  Enough was enough.  Time to learn about all the wheels and buttons, the settings and definitions for things like f-stop or aperture, shutter speed, ISO, etc.  While I definitely have a lot more to learn, I feel much more knowledgeable. 

In photography, the camera is often able to capture things that the naked eye doesn't even realize is there.  We filter out so much and so quickly.  It is only when our surroundings -- the world around us -- is frozen in a still image that we can fix our gaze on it in any meaningful way.  The act of pausing and reflection is forced.  Similarly, you might take a photograph of a person or thing and, in a certain light or at a specific angle, it is too dark or out-of-focus.  The background may be blown out with harsh light.  The subject hidden in shadow.  While a more expensive lens or sophisticated camera can compensate and make a rough image far more crisp, it can only do so much.  Similarly, a trained photographer can reach into his or her bag of tricks to turn the bad picture into a decent one.  Of course, there are also software packages where a crummy digital image can be edited to a reveal something much better than originally downloaded.  

All of these factors aside, the only way to truly improve the photo, without the use of modern technology, is by physically moving to a different spot in order to see the image from a fresh, new perspective.  The photographer has to change their view for the picture to clear up and come into focus. A few inches to the right, a turn to the side, a couple steps back and 'voila' a beautiful, perhaps even transformative, picture appears.  

Life is like that too.  Stuck in one position -- one view -- can be crippling.  Sometimes we need to take a step or shift our perspective in order to see something brilliant.  Point our eyes upward to the sky and there is immense grandeur.  Move your viewfinder and compose a picture where your subject is not centered, but rather hanging out on the edge of your frame.  What does the rest of the world look like when we aren't at the center of the universe?  Lay down on the ground and what comes into view then?  What are we missing by staying in our auto mode?  There is so much more to contemplate and learn when we play with the dials, change our aperture and take a few well chosen steps. 

Leaves of Grass (and Flowers)

Spent the weekend hanging out with my parents.  Although much of their visit was altogether low key, we had fun just relaxing, going out for breakfast, doing some shopping, etc.

One highlight for me was our trip to the Como Park Conservatory on Saturday.  While warmer weather has descended, snow remains on the ground.  Spring may still be in the distance (I'm not holding my breathe), but inside the greenhouse gardens of Como, it is in full force.  

We walked through the more tropical climes, soaking in the fresh plantings and smells of dirt.  Ferns, palms, all matter of spice & fruit trees can be found here.  Allspice?  Yep.  Mango tree?  Uh huh.  Spotted banana trees and even a cacao tree otherwise known as food of the gods.  Check out those pods:

My favorite, however, has to be the Sunken Garden filled to the brim with brightly colored flowers such as Oriental Lily, Peonies and bleeding hearts.  Just being there took me back about 3 years to Mr. Oz and my wedding day.  We were married in the Sunken Garden on a particularly cold and windy Spring day and I recalled the experience as if it were yesterday.  Such a great place filled with wonderful memories.

Happiness rating = 9.

So, only about half way through my 30 day Happiness photo experiment (I haven't posted on this consecutively, but I think this is day 14) and already clear patterns are coming to light.  After already establishing that the state of being happy is a bit elusive and probably not too sustainable.  I'm much more comfortable with words like content and satisfied to describe my state of being versus full-on happiness.  That said, I find "happy" tends to exist much more when recalling some past event versus a present moment.  Hindsight, it seems, provides a buffer from any previous bad feelings or less than positive thoughts and calls forth mostly the good stuff.  Distance, in the sense of time, does, indeed make the heart grow fonder.  Interestingly, anticipation of a future event also causes unusually high levels of happiness.  The intrigue as to what will happen gets those endorphins pumping too.  

Conclusion: past and future serve as happiness catalysts.  What then of the here and now?  I am less happy in the present, or so it would seem.  Do I just not really know how good things are until they have passed me by?  This assumes, of course, that things really are good and I have no real reason or suspicion to doubt otherwise.  Pulling slightly back from me as an individual, are we as humans constantly reminiscing and pining for those glory days that somehow appear even better in the warm glow of nostalgia?  And likewise, is it just human nature to keep yearning for that ever-elusive "grass is always greener" ideal hiding just around the corner?  How can we be more mindful of what we have in the present moment?  Unlocking this may just be the key to sustainable happiness. 

Is The Blog Dead?

Blatant re-post of content found on my friend's blog, fimoculous.com.  One person's answer to the question, "is the blog dead?"  I liked it so much I had to share here.  The concept that blogs represent yet another evolutionary rung in the ladder of communication progression, well, it resonates.  As a culture, we are continuously looking for the faster and easier, the less taxing form of conveying information so blogs are being outdone by abbreviated Twitter feeds and Facebook 'like' buttons.  

Love what the author says about the lacking thoughtfulness and engagement that some of these newer forms of info sharing offer us.  Yes, it's fast but is it fulfilling?  Me thinks not. The comment on two-way engagement is also hitting on some of my own difficulties in maintaining an active blog "life."  When I start to feel like I'm just talking to myself, it feels a little creepy.  Scroll to the bottom for some recommendations on blogs to check out.

Would love to know what you think. Read on:

Is blogging dead? I don't want it to be, which is another reason I tried to revivify this blog, which was about 10 years old and staggering around like a zombie. In my opinion, there should be room in our online discourse for blogs like this one -- offering a consistent, often thoughtful perspective, collecting and observing things of interest to its readers. But being consistent, thoughtful, and observant requires effort and time, and it requires the same of its audience.
And that, I think, is why blogging, for the most part, appears to be moribund: Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, etc., are media that have evolved such that there is no expectation of prolonged engagement with pieces of content on the part of their writers or readers. Consider the recent widespread use of the shorthand "tl;dr" (too long; didn't read). This dismissive assessment is commonly interpreted as fair, expected criticism of the author, not the reader who offers it because he couldn't be bothered to read the content simply because it was long, regardless of its undiscovered merits. The media that are replacing "traditional" blogging value brevity above all, so much of the incentive to write anything that is both long and thoughtful diminishes (since few will bother to read it), and the self-motivation required to do so will only increase over time.
It's funny to be talking about blogging -- which for its entire lifespan has been dismissed broadly for being superficial and narcissistic -- as being a besieged outpost of well-developed, thoughtful writing, but I think that's exactly what's happening. It's no one's "fault" -- it's just the natural evolution of popular content production and consumption towards the most frictionless state: from books to periodicals to personal websites to blogs to Twitter to the Like button. When a medium comes along that's easier than clicking the Like button -- maybe thinking you Like something -- you can be sure everyone will speculate about and then bemoan its death before moving on.
But, even blogging isn't dead yet. There are some people out there who are still committed to the form, even if it seems no one else is, regularly posting smart, thought-provoking analyses and observations of their respective interests. A few that come immediately to mind:

• Joanne McNeil at Tomorrow Museum
• The brilliant Danah Boyd, whose research and insight into social media and youth culture is unmatched
• Geoff Manaugh at BLDGBLOG, who is at once reportorial and speculative
• The visionary architect Lebbeus Woods
• Errol Morris and his "too long," multi-part monographs, some of which are probably the best things ever published originally on the web

And there are others who take the time to put together coherent, original posts:

• Star Wars Modern, where I'm not always sure what's happening, but I appreciate the effort involved
• Nav at Scrawled in Wax, usually correlating academic concepts of post-modernism with pop culture
• Amy at Amy's Robot, who has been writing witty, thoughtful posts on pop culture and politics for NINE YEARS. Collaborators (like me) have come and gone at that site, but Amy is still there. Someone oughta be reading her.

A confession before I continue: for every one of those sites I mentioned, I have often found myself getting the gist of a post, thinking "that's a good insight," and then skimming the rest of it. Does that matter?
Continuing, let me also mention some more widely read sites that I think demonstrate originality and effort:

• John Del Signore at Gothamist, whose humor brings color to stories without obscuring them
• The Big Picture photo blog, started by a developer at the Boston Globe who is now launching a similar project for the Atlantic
• Yeah, what the hell -- I'm leaving it on this list: even Boing Boing can be pretty good sometimes, when it's not being a caricature of itself...
• Maybe you have your own suggestions to share in the comments

And lastly, if you miss Fimoculous now that it's zombified, just replace that section of your brain with Pop Loser, which I've been ripping off mercilessly for the last month and which strikes me as the blog that is the spiritual inheritor of this one.
Will any of these blogs still live in 5 years? Will new ones rise to take their place? So far, trends appear to indicate no: aggregation, automation, voting up, "liking," etc., seem to be resulting in a hivemind where thoughtfulness is replaced with promulgation and sameness. Maybe we need a "link aggregator in reverse" that shows the links of interest to you that everyone else like you hasn't Liked yet.

Not Really a Haiku

Earthquake, tsunami, wreckage, devastation, loss . . . 

I watch the news.  I read the stories.  My heart aches for the people of Japan.  

The threat of further suffering as nuclear plants appear poised to melt.  It's too much to take.  

What can be done?  

Each year, it seems natural disasters wage war.  

Has it always been like this or is this a recent phenomenon?  Maybe we just have modern modes of instant communication to thank for all of this wonderful news.  

If a tsunami strikes in Japan and no one is there to record it, did it really happen?  

No more recording, I say.   The revolution will not be televised.

No happiness photo today I'm afraid. 

Sometimes Happiness Needs a Vacation

It's hard to say good-bye.  Simply put, death sucks.  

This past week has been a mash of different emotions, at moments deep sorrow and then the occasional memory eliciting a smile or laughter.  Happiness doesn't come around much in times of such permanent loss.  Perhaps happiness, like so many stressed out and busy workers, needs a vacation once in a while?  

In happiness's absence a consistent and continual vacillation between sadness and bittersweet comfort takes over -- comfort in the knowledge that the physical pain of terminal illness has ended, solace in sharing the tears with others who are experiencing the same grief at the same time and in the same way, sincere appreciation that my life was touched by someone so special. 

Saturday was spent celebrating the life of one who did so much in her all too brief 38 years.  Her time on this earth was cut short, but her memory will forever be with those who knew her.  I was blessed to be among those who called her friend.  Some of my very best friends from high school were there too.  Lots of stories, warm remembrances and buoying up of spirits . . . while our good friend was not physically present for this photo, her presence and her spirit was felt by each one of us.  

Do-It-Yourself Salad

Happiness photo experiment - Day 13

Mr. Oz and I decided to take a break from the kitchen and go out for dinner tonight. We probably do this once, sometimes twice, a week although typically these outings are relegated to the weekend. Now, you might think a twice weekly restaurant outing is kinda extravagant, I mean we are in an economic downturn, right? Well, we aren't necessarily living high on the hog as we tend to stick to local haunts such as a nearby Irish Pub, burger joint or a variety of QSR's (that's quick service restaurants for the acronym challenged :) ) As much as I like a fine dining experience, we are certainly not above the occasional run to Jimmy John's, Chipotle or this evenings hot spot, Ruby Tuesday's. You know what you are going to get so two thumb's up for consistency AND you get some decent food for a decent price. Anyway . . .

Why am I rambling on about all of this you might ask? Tonight's photos come straight from the belly of the Ruby Tuesday's beast. I present for your viewing pleasure, our salad bar creations.


My salad


Mr. Oz's salad

My fine friends, a good salad bar makes me pretty happy. There are a few reasons for this:

1) Fresh vegetables. I don't get enough of them. Somehow it always seems like a wise choice to get loads of fresh veg when I'm at the grocery store, but we can never eat it and it often goes bad. Enter the salad bar. You plate it up and no risk of spoilage. Chilled nutrition at my disposal.

2) Variety of choices and toppings. Lettuce is all well and good, but the true merit of any salad bar is its wealth of sides and accompaniments. Choices, choices, choices. Are there ever enough choices in life?

3) And, the most important factor is the customization. No single person likes their salad the exact same way. A salad bar allows for unique personalization of your plate to suit your individual palette. You can get the portions, textures, flavors and colors just right. Me? I'm a 'equal balance of greens to toppings' kinda gal. I like to throw on some garbanzo beans and a little cheese . . . cottage cheese on the side. Mr. Oz, he likes a heap of blue cheese dressing on his mass of spinach leaves. We each get what we want to our specifications.

There is a metaphor for life hidden somewhere in this salad bar post but I'm too full of broccoli and croutons to think clearly and pull it out.

Happiness rating = 4.

Doppelgangers: A Study of Happiness Contrast & Similarity

Happiness Photo Experiment – Day 12.

Today’s entry is a study of contrasts. Two images of a similar nature, one representing – for me – sweaty palm, heart palpitation, anxious displeasure while the other puts me in a state of blissful serenity and calm relaxation. Oddly enough, I experienced both of these in the same day. It’s the doppelganger of happiness. The Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

First, you have the anti-happy photo depicting the examination table at my doctor’s office. Happiness rating = -3

While I don’t necessarily dislike my doctor (she’s actually a very lovely lady), I really dread going to the clinic even if it is for a very mundane visit like today’s trip. Six months ago my doctor changed a prescription med I was taking and asked me to come back so she could check everything out. I guess she wanted to make sure my blood was still red and my urine was still . . . ah, you get the picture. It was easy. But, why do I always feel like my just walking in the door shoots my blood pressure about at least 10 points? I'm not even scared of needles. I think it has something to do with the fear of what my doctor might tell me -- fear of the unknown. There is also this vague feeling of not being fully prepared, kinda like the pre-finals feeling in college when you studied a lot, maybe even all night, but aren’t quite confident that you will do well. You know what I’m sayin?

But, no need to fear. All is well with me from a physical standpoint!

Now, we have the mucho gracias happiness photo of the massage table which I just laid upon for a delightful 60 minutes! Ahhh . . . so nice. Happiness rating = solid 7.

A few months back I signed up for a membership at Massage Envy. For a low monthly fee I receive an hour long massage each month. It is a great stress reliever. Tonight I asked my therapist, Marissa, to focus on my neck, shoulders and back and she went to town. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that I fell asleep. Yep. Don’t even want to think about whether or not I snored or involuntarily did anything else crude. Nevertheless, this table represents a lot of what is good and right in the world.

Funny how two objects, so closely related in size, appearance, weight and color and general styling, could evoke such different and extreme emotions. They both are situated in small, closed door rooms where it is eerily quiet. Hey, you are even asked to undress in each of them from time to time. Ok, now I'm freaking myself out.

I guess it isn’t the object, but what surrounds it, and the meaning and memories we connect to it, which is the true predictor of our happiness (or eventual creep out).

Are there any two objects, so closely related yet oh so far apart on your happiness meter? If so, please share.

Washing Away Winter

Happiness photo experiment -- Day 11.

Today's images document my trip to the car wash. There is something oddly cathartic . . . well . . . I guess . . . sorta spiritually cleansing about getting a car washed. At just a basic level, it's fun to drive in and experience the cycles of rinse, soap, scrub, rinse and dry. You just relax, crank up the latest R&B dance track from Usher and let those machines do all the work. Removal of grime and those salt crusted dirt barnacles from my auto gives me an almost indescribable sense of accomplishment -- like I'm showing Mother Nature who's boss. Take that winter! Pow. You may have dumped 12 feet of snow and left sheets of ice in your wake. Your bitter cold winds may chill me to my core, but, for a few bucks and few short minutes, I can wash you away. Ha.

Participating in the transformation from dingy to shiny, from worn to fresh, is restorative. It's progress. It's the phoenix rising from the ashes to live anew. Good smells (personally, I love the fake 'new car' scent) and sparkling chrome are emblematic of renewal and hope. And, here in the upper Midwest, when you go to the car wash in March, it signals Spring is just around the corner so hang on for just a little while longer.

Happiness rating = 5

No More Fear, No More Pain

Don't let fear stand in the way of exploring your full potential. Don't let fear stop you from being happy. This is the message of a recent Stepcase Lifehack article entitled "What Stops Us From Exploring, Developing and Maximizing our Potential?" I agree with a lot of what author Craig Harper has to say here.

Boiling down Harper's points into a single take-away, I came to the conclusion that nothing outside of myself can point to, or otherwise, make me happy. No matter how hard we look, no object and no other person, no external validation, has the power to induce happiness. This can only come from inside ourselves. We decide. Thus, happiness, is in our control. It is the ultimate in self-determination. No matter what life throws at us, regardless of how we were raised, where we went to school, our IQ, the clothes we wear, our sexual orientation, the religious affiliation we subscribe to . . . ugly, beautiful, poor, rich, white, black . . . none of that matters or is directly correlated to real, honest-to-goodness, unadulterated happiness. How liberating.

Of course, some might argue that being blessed with good looks or a sizable bank account may help in the getting happy department. Perhaps. But, I think we have all witnessed enough episodes of Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab or read plenty of front page headlines of troubled trust fund kids to know that all the money and power in the world can only get you so far.

I love this excerpt from Harper's article. I think it says it all:

. . . You can’t change other people but you can change how you behave and react around them. You can’t alter your level of natural ability (potential), but you can determine how much of that ability you tap into, exploit and develop. You can’t change your past but you can change the way you let it influence and impact on your present and your future. That is, you don’t need to be limited by, defined by or determined by your history (as many people are). Your history doesn’t necessarily tell you anything about your potential and is often a poor indicator of what’s possible for your future. If you’re like many, then your achievements – or perhaps lack of achievements – are more a reflection of your fear (to take a chance and get uncomfortable) than they are a reflection of your potential.

And finally, don’t allow your self-limiting, over-thinking, fear-influenced mind to stand between you and happiness. You are good enough, talented enough, courageous enough and definitely worth it.

Now to shift gears ever so slightly . . .
Yesterday, a high school friend of mine, Deb, died. The news was, and continues to be, sad and shocking. Her passing was sudden and she left this earth far too soon. Only 38 years old and seemingly full of life, Deb has left an indelible imprint on me and on so many others. When a death comes so out-of-the-blue, it sends waves of anger, regret, despondency and confusion. Like a tsunami, these emotions crash into and onto your soul. The question is always "why?" Why her? Who now? Why this? There are never any satisfying answers. Absolutely none.

While I had lost touch with Deb over the years, we had, in the last few years, re-connected via Facebook. I don't know everything about her life, but in our brief communication, I surmised that she had dealt with a lot and battled some demons both all too real and quite possibly, even some, imagined. Deb faced pain in more ways then one and, perhaps, sought relief to abate and numb some of the pain she felt. Luckily, she had someone -- her life partner Linda -- by her side who brought her joy and comfort. Although I never met Linda, it is apparent from all I've seen and read that she and Deb shared a life and a strong love. But, this is where my Harper's article and the tragic loss of my friend Deb connect for me. Although I cannot even begin to claim any true knowledge or understanding of how my friend felt, I do believe that the hurt she experienced contributed to her passing and no objects or people, no matter how beloved, could bandage the wounds which cut so deep. And this, I feel, is the single and most significant tragedy of them all.

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.”

Wherever you rest tonight Deb, I hope peace and comfort and true happiness have found you and lay beside you as you sleep. You will not be forgotten. You will be missed.