Language Revolution Yo

Language is a living thing.  It morphs and bends, builds and undulates.  New words are born and some words die.  Some are twisted to work in different ways, in completely unique forms and uses.  With this in mind, I'm determined to be a language revolutionist.  My quest -- to spark a wave not unlike the bouncing beach ball wave that happens in stadiums during large sporting events.  I want to identify a new word that takes off and alters the very fabric of society.  Seriously.  This is my dream. 

I will, from time to time, try out my new words on y'all.   While I want your feedback, what I REALLY want is for all of you to adopt my new language and spread it far and wide.  I want to hear it on the streets and on t.v.  I want Matt Lauer to use it on the Today Show and Tre Park and Matt Stone to include it in an episode of Southpark.  C'mon.  We can do this!  Inventing language . .  yipee.  

OK, so here are a few for you to chew on.  

Glug.  Not a new word, I know.  But consider using it in a different way . . . as a noun.  So, when you go to the 7-Eleven and get a Big Gulp or you buy one of those 24 ounce sodas.  That is called a Glug.  Used in a sentence, "I drank a whole glug of that Dr. Pepper this afternoon and now I have to pee."  Glug as a noun is an awesome word.  

Maybe it would be more palatable if I put it into a bigger context?

Walking into a coffee shop, I approach the counter and order.

Me:  "Hi, I'd like a glug of non-fat latte with hazelnut please?"

Coffee shop employee:  "What?  Excuse me?  You want what?"

Me:  "A glug . . . you know, the biggest size you've got.  The kind of drink you can just chug and glug." 

Coffee shop employee:  "Ahhh, yes.  A glug.  Got it.  I will now change my menu and call our large size, a glug."  

Me:  "Thanks!"

You in?  

Here's another one.  We've all heard of a Blackberry, right?  Not the fruit.  The smart phone thingy that business-people types use to send emails and check stock reports and stuff.  Of course, some refer to the Blackberry as a crackberry due to users' seeming addiction to the technology and instant access.  I see your crackberry and raise you a Dingleberry.  We need to start referring to Blackberrys as Dingleberrys people.  I won't go into all my reasons why, but I think it works.  It hangs.  It dangles.  It dingles.  It's like that thing you can't shake. 

Thank you for your consideration.  Remember, you heard it hear first.  

My business cards with new title of "Language Revolutionist" will soon be printed.