Happiness is Learned & Borrowed

I subscribe to a Twitter feed from Ode Magazine which promotes itself as an online community for intelligent optimists. I'm not sure I am a community member or just hanging out in the periphery as a wanna-be member, but nevertheless, I find the articles provocative and engaging. Ode tends to focus on issues of spirituality and nature and the junctures at which we, as a society, intersect these arenas. Ode is on my 'must read' list each week. I spotted an article on the topic of happiness, and just had to include here.

French psychiatrist Christophe Andre has made his life's work studying happiness. Below are just a few excerpts from the article that struck me as particularly relevant to my experiment in isolating and rating happiness.

Ode Magazine: Professor of happiness

What about now? Do you experience moments of happiness?
"It's hard work but it's pleasant. You've got to put your mind to it. Working on happiness acts as an anti-depressant.

You can spend an evening with friends and only realize once you get home that you had a good time. That means you've missed your moments of happiness. You need to realize that there are many opportunities to be happy. You have to realize: This is enjoyable, this is a nice moment, I'm having fun, this is a little bubble of happiness. I know people who have a nice weekend and cannot be happy because on Sunday afternoon they're already starting to think about going to work on Monday. And at work they're thinking they're not happy because they don't see their children enough. Those people never have their minds in the present. You have to tell yourself: I'm going to enjoy this for a moment. My child is here and I'm going to stop thinking about my work. I'm emptying my mind and listening to what my child has to say.

"This can be learned. The English call it 'mindfulness.' Concentrating helps; meditation is very good. It takes hard work every day, but it works. Happiness can be learned. It's within reach. When I get too nervous, too excited, too eager, then I know I need to rest and take a walk. When I walk, I need to stop occasionally and look around. Look and be open; absorb nature.

Happiness is about the little things. Happiness tends to be calm and peaceful. You don't jump up and down with happiness, but with joy. Yes, there is such a thing as intense happiness, but it doesn't happen often in one's life. Striving toward absolute, huge, oceanic happiness, le bonheur fou, can be discouraging and distract you from little happiness."

Why has there been such a strong focus on being happy and living a good and conscious life in recent years?
"The interest in happiness emerged at the same time as the interest in health. Now that Westerners don't have to worry as much about pure survival, they're much more interested in the quality of life. But there's also a long-term trend here. Happiness also is part of democratization. Since the 18th century, everyone has a right to happiness. The American Constitution speaks of the pursuit of happiness.

"Nowadays, happiness is a topic addressed by the consumer society. Happiness is everywhere, which of course leads to a deeper interest. This is undoubtedly because the need for meaning is more keenly felt since the role of religion has declined."

What is the purpose of happiness?
"It has no purpose—only that you're happy. It gives you a more interesting life. We don't live for happiness, but life is possible, beautiful and rich because it exists. When we're happy, we don't think about tomorrow; we enjoy it here and now. And we're only able to do that because we know that there could be more suffering tomorrow. Happiness is only possible against the background of death; only we human beings know that we're going to die, and that in itself is a good reason to strive for happiness.

"You could also say, 'What is the purpose of life?' Everyone gets to decide that for themselves. But, again, meaning and happiness are not the same thing. A big hero of the Nazi resistance has given a lot of meaning to his life, but that doesn't mean he's a happy person. To paraphrase Diderot: Happiness is a state of well being you wish would last forever."

Here is a photo of Mr. Oz taken at a recent wedding of our dear friends, Tammy & Jason. Reflecting on moments when I was fully present and experiencing the now, this image certainly captures one of those times. It was a beautiful day filled with expressions of love and good wishes and this is what I see when I look at this picture. Mr. Oz is one of the happiest people I know. When I'm having a bad day, his cheery demeanor and optimism rubs off on me. Somehow, I am able to borrow his happiness and make it my own. Thanks babe! Happiness rating = 9.