Cooking Up A Batch of 'Hell Yes'

Happy Holidays everyone!

I hope each of you had a joyous Christmas and/or Hanukkah celebrating with loved ones. Part I of my holiday concluded with some hang time with the in-laws and all the sibs, nieces and nephews from the Oz side of the equation. We also enjoyed digging out of snowstorm madness '09 which left a ton of that frozen white water outside our door. It's mighty cold out there and each time I leave the house to take the dog out for a potty break, I visualize flipping head over heels on the ice rink that has newly formed in my driveway. Guess I need to go buy some skates and practice my triple sow cow. Olympics here I come! Or, perhaps the much more likely scenario is broken bones, me in the hospital, laid up in traction. Sigh. Sorry, no blind holiday optimism. Here you will only find stark, dark pessimism. Cheers!!

Part Deux of the festivus for the rest of us will be kicking off in North Dakota. Mr. Oz and I are headed to my parents tomorrow for a 3 night visit. All the clan will gather to ring in the New Year and open up the gifts that Santa couldn't quite deliver on Christmas Eve cuz he was stuck in a snowbank. For some reason, I felt the need to volunteer my cooking prowess (and I use this word sarcastically). I will be making the New Year's Eve feast. In preparation, I've been scouring my cookbooks, online recipe sources and hitting up my foodie friends for suggestions. After much hemming and hawing, I finally landed on my menu -- a four course extraveganza. BTW, what is the deal with the phrase "hemming and hawing?" What does it really mean anyway? I just typed it and had to stop and consider, for a moment, the origin of this phrase. What does it mean to "haw?" Is it like sawing but only with your mind? I need to do some research on that one. But I digress.

Back to the holiday feast . . . I decided to take it up a notch, an extra step if you will, and add in wine pairings. What has gotten in to me? I know, crazy. We will be starting with a lovely salad comprised of roasted butternut squash, endive, apple and blue cheese. Next course will be a french onion soup gratin. Third course is an herb crusted beef tenderloin with port sauce. I'll be making some sort of potato & vegetable side to accompany the beef. We will end with a chocolate mousse cheesecake. Much like the contestents on Top Chef, I don't consider desserts my forte so I will be picking up this cheesecake at the place that knows what they are doing. The Cheesecake Factory, of course. Wine pairings include a light & crips Savignon Blanc to start, a fairly robust Pinot Noir to go with the beef and then a Saracco Moscato 'd Asti with dessert. Sadly, the soup will have to share it's wine pairing with the salad. Poor soup. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.

All this menu planning has gotten me in a cooking mood. The last few days, I've been trying out all sorts of things. My experimentation is appreciated by Mr. Oz as he gets to eat all of my trials. I'm not so sure he like all the dirty dishes, however. Did I mention Mr. Oz does the dishes? Tonight is roasted potato leek soup from the Barefoot Contessa's Back to Basics cookbook. Nothing beats a warm, creamy soup on a cold winter night.

I'll report the success or failure of my feast in my next post.

Until then, Happy New Year!!

Holiday Shopping

Hi, my name is Lisa and I am addicted to online x-mas shopping.

Over the past few weeks, holiday purchasing online has been among my greatest joy and pleasure. True.

While some may say this form of shopping is impersonal, isolating and does not allow the shopper to fully experience the seasonal sights, sounds and smells (think evergreen trees and baked goods versus sweaty Mall Santas), I counter online shopping is incredibly convenient. Yep, convenience trumps all. Here is my general overview of "traditional" holiday shopping: Slogging through snowbanks and braving the icy cold only to spend countless minutes circling crowded parking lots looking for an open spot. Throwing elbows scrounging for the best deal . . . limited choices because stores only want to keep the best selling items in stock . . . after hours of hunting and searching, pure frustration sets in . . . solution = various gift cards.

Now, let's compare this old way with the evolution of holiday behavior: Comfy, cozy in flannel pajamas . . . relaxing with laptop on the couch with a fire roaring . . . . Amazon.com wishlist searches, researching the perfect gift by entering in facts and personality traits of your gift recipients, personalized & fun gift ideas, free shipping (hooray!!). No need to leave the house, saving money on gas and reaping the benefit of hours I can spend doing other fun stuff like baking cookies, drinking martinis or watching Glee (double hooray!!!). Seriously. Why would anyone choose to purchase their gifts any other way?

Plus, how great is it to come home from work each day to a bounty of packages on one's doorstep?

Here are just a smattering of gift ideas that I may, or may not, have purchased online this season: Who doesn't appreciate a toasty, warm towel when exiting the shower? This is the perfect baby gift when the parents are Sci-Fi, Star Wars geeks!

Hello! Cheese of the month club!! Tasty.

I Recall Central Park In Fall

New York is a fun place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there. Spending a long weekend in the hustle & bustle of Manhattan leaves me exhilarated and exhausted all at the same time. No matter how often I go, I can never quite get over the pace, throngs of people, constant assault of sounds and smells. There is a frenetic rhythm to the city. A hum. I'm drawn into it like a moth to an incandescent light bulb, but my introverted nature screams for quiet. The idyllic setting of Central Park exists in the in-between. On its outer edges, the city spins and spits. Inside the insulated protection of the park, calm takes over. People seem softer, happier, lighter. Outside the Park is all business and motion. Inside, it melts away under an insulated cocoon of flora and fauna. The trees keep the madness at bay.




Fall is the absolutely best time to see the Park. It might arguably be the best time to visit NYC. Great walking around town weather. SOHO shopping, West Village stroll. Fine dining, the perfect bagel to start the day, a lusciously long pour of Prosecco to cap off the night. Subway rides. Scouring Canal Street for the best deals. Cocktails made the old-fashioned way. Trying to hail the Cash Cab and win big. Chelsea Market. Walking the Highline. Soaking in the ambiance and history. Gramercy Park desserts. The Natural History Museum. Coffee shops. And, of course, Central Park in Fall.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I admit to having a small problem . . . a slight obsessive, compulsive disorder whereby I startle at odd moments gripped by the fear that I have left a hot iron plugged in at home or the front door unlocked or accidentally forgot to put on my antiperspirant after showering. I've had these strange attacks at random. Once I had nearly completed the 25 minute drive to work when I was overcome by the sense that I had not closed the garage door upon exiting. I debated for a couple of minutes on whether or not to go back home. Finally, faced with the knowing assurance that I would wrestle with hopeless uncertainty all day, I drove back home only to find the garage sealed off tighter than drum.

What is this all about? Why do I have these compulsions? Is it normal? Am I normal?

An off shoot of the issue describe above is my frightening habit of occasionally "zoning out" when driving. Entranced in some daydream, pondering a nebulous situation at work or simply drifting into the lyrics of a song playing on the radio, I sink into my own head and drive completely on auto pilot. Now, mind you, I am awake. My eyes are open. I am functioning at the wheel. But, I go so far into my own thoughts that one quick alteration in my visual field or a sound can snap me back into a jarred state. In that split second, my fight or flight response system kicks in and over-rides my conscious, rationale, logical mind. In this momentary panic, I've been known to jump medians and perform u-turns thinking that I was inadvertently driving the wrong way on a freeway off-ramp. Seriously. I've done this. And, it scared me so bad I nearly crapped my pants.

Again, I ask, is this totally and utterly insane? Have others out there experienced this strange phenomenon of being totally awake and performing tasks but, somehow, not being fully present. Is it lack of sleep? Stress? Old age? Am I in the early stages of dementia?

OK, so just to set everyone's mind at ease for fear that I may be a danger to you and your loved ones on the road. I'm 99% fine. I've only experienced this strange moments a couple of times and I've been able to control my little urges to change 3 lanes of traffic, jump police squad cars and run red lights. It's not quite as disastrous as you might believe it to be. But, it does make me wonder what causes this behavior. My husband says I'm "in my head" too much and I need to focus. But, I like my head. My head is a happy and productive place to be. Well, most of the time it is.

And I bet when you started reading this post you thought I was going to blog about my dog again. Ozy is my OTHER obsessive, compulsive habit.

New York State of Mind

Sadly, I do not have the Ozy photo shoot proofs yet. I keep checking my email to see if they have arrived. Of course, the photos will be shared assuming I will not be violating any copyright laws in the process. Scribble, let me know if that looks to be a problem as your are all the keeper of the halls of justice and what not.

Super excited to report an upcoming trip and looking for suggestions on places to go and things to do. My friend Poodle and I have decided to exit the Twin Cities (stage left) and hit the Big Apple. We leave next Thursday for a 4 day, 3 night stay in NYC. Our plan is simple really -- enjoy the Fall ambiance, do a little shopping and check out some fantastic restaurants. I hope all the walking we have planned will cancel out the eating as we will be cutting a culinary swathe through Manhattan for schnizzle.

We are staying at a boutique hotel in Gramercy Park which seems to be a pretty good location and launching off point. Thus far, we have three places on our radar as 'musts.' These include Hearth, Gramercy Tavern and the Pegu Club. Aside from that, what other ideas come to mind? I think is is safe to say that both Poodle and I are fond of art, music and history (aka museums). Fine dining, tasty cocktails, window shopping, celebrity sightings and just kickin it also top the list of common interests. We are not really into the nightclub scene, sporting events, NASCAR and stinky cab rides. The Museum of the City of New York might be kinda cool as the city definitely boasts an interesting past. A stroll through Central Park, a visit to the NY Public Library or the Metropolitan Museum of Art? Broadway show? Hmmm. So many possibilities.

You Ought To Be In Pictures

My magnificent furry baby, Ozy, had his first official and professional photo shoot this evening. Sara Beth Photography specializes in animals. Her work is absolutely amazing and truly captures the personality of each pet she photographs. She's running a holiday special which includes an in-studio photo shoot, $50 print credit and 25 holiday gift cards. Ozy was pretty well behaved, but he could probably use a few pointers from Tyra Banks and her America's Top Model crew. The good thing is, unlike other supermodels, he was VERY motivated by food. The word "treat" grabbed his attention.

I should have the proofs in a week. I'm particulary excited to see how the photos turn out of Ozy wearing a red, winter scarf. Red, after all, is his signature color.

Bevy of Bitchy Comments

Lots of topics to cover. Been awhile.

1) Swine Flu (aka H1N1 virus). This is certainly NOT one of my Bests, but you can't shake a cat by its tail these days without running into a news story talking about the dreaded strain of flu. A couple weeks back, I was taken ill with some sort of bad bug. I'm not sayin it was H1N1. I have no idea. I didn't go to the doctor, primarily for fear that I would find out I had it and would then subconsciously allow my negative, paranoid thoughts to slow down the healing process. I'm superstitious like that. Anyway, the Oz household was stricken down into a violent pit of sickness. Aches and coughs, chills and no thrills.

While I'm not a medical doctor, CDC authority or the like, I think we've only seen the tip of the iceberg on this nasty virus (and the associated media coverage, fear mongering, marketing push for those ugly face masks, etc.). Many schools are reporting outbreaks and are shutting down. Years from now, I wonder if/how we will look back on these dark days and be able to pinpoint our children's idiocy on these few weeks of missed school due to the Swine Flu. I'm just sayin. When I was a kid, we might have had the random and infrequent snow DAY. Never did we have the Swing Flu WEEKS. It's like another summer vacation for these kids. I say put the face masks on, load up on vitamins and zinc tablets and get some book learnin kiddos. It's good for your immunity. It's good for America.

2) Conferences. The week after I recovered from my flu-like symptoms, I traveled to California for a work-related conference. I have very mixed feelings about these types of events. On one hand, I appreciate hearing what some of my peers and colleagues are doing -- new ideas, inspiring examples of great work, thought provoking tidbits. On the other hand, I find it to be mostly a big waste of time when over half the content is simply regurgitated blather from last year's snooze fest. It can be somewhat laughable to hear these presenters boast about their cutting edge [insert: methods, technology, trends, programs, brilliance] when, in fact, it is nothing but old, tired, dried up, yesterday's news. Seriously. Tell me something new and interesting before I scream people.

This is the scene. Big screen. Stage. Powerpoint. Lots of round tables to seat the dwindling and rather unenthusiastic conference goers. Sigh.



OK, now at the risk of sounding terribly crabby, I see the problem as one of old guard versus new upstarts. The folks who plan these events, the ones that find the topics and speakers, tend to be the stalwarts of the Old Guard, the 20, 30+ year veterans who's hey day has passed by. To this group e-mail communication is still a baffling and enigmatic operation, social networking sites are just something those "crazy kids" are into, and Twitter is oh, so cutting edge. Give me a break. There is better, faster, cooler, more relevant stuff happening out there and maybe in 5 years we'll see someone stand up at one of these conferences and predict its arrival after its already come and gone. It makes me crazy. What we need is an UNconference. Something radically different. Let's bring in speakers who don't do what we do each and everyday. New blood. Shake it up. Who's with me?

I also hate all the sales pitch b.s. I have to wade through. It's just a big solicitation forum. This time I did the clever thing and "forgot" my business cards at home. Oops. Sorry. I can't give you my card. How about I just take your card and I call YOU if I'm interested. P.S. Don't wait by the phone or hold your breath.

3) Staycation and Home Decorating. Upon returning from the conference, I took a week to stay home. That's right. My very own staycation. I just needed a break from it all, time to take a few deep breathes and inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Ahhhhhh. Because one can only do so much sleeping and reading, I took on a few home projects. My living room was in need of an extreme home makeover and I don't have the luxury of Ty Pennington coming over and blaring into his bullhorn. I had to make due. A couple trips to Home Depot and I had a quart of paint (Behr, Oyster) and sundry supplies. In one afternoon, a small wall went from a crimson color to a creamy shade of pearl white. Then my inner Genevieve kicked in and I did something incredibly zany -- I posted my couch and chair for sale on Craig's List. In a matter of minutes, I had a hit. Someone was interested! YEAH! I was emboldened to hit the Pottery Barn and order the furniture I had been secretly coveting for quite some time.

This change up represents a wave of tiny transformations I've been experiencing lately. I don't know how it happened or when it started, but I've moved from a red wine lover to a white wine appreciator. What? How? I know. My last vino selections fall in the camp of Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc and not the usual Zinfandel and Pinot Noir. Similarly, my living room palette is sliding away from the dark shades and into a spectrum of neutral hues -- ivory, natural, chocolate brown, oat. Am I turning over a new leaf? Has my body been inhabited by Nate Burkus? I'm not sure. What is next? Will I lose the taste for red meat? Become a vegan? Go totally organic? Move to a commune and raise my own goats? I can't really say.

4) Preview. I'm tired. Need rest. However, I have much more I'd like to share. I'd like to post on the sometimes controversial topic of animal neutering, the always painful theme of divorce (no, not mine), horror films, cider and window treatments. I'm sure the anticipation will rage inside you for a full minute or two.

P.S. Don't wait by your PC. Don't hold your breath. It's been over a month between my last post and this one so I can't really tell you when I'll get to these subjects.

Preliminary Bucket List (pt. 1)

Things I need to do before I die:

1) Participate in a super sweet flash mob dance. Well, right?
2) Hot air balloon ride -- the kind where you pack a picnic, drink champagne and such
3) Go to the Olympics. Summer, winter, it really doesn't matter. It would just be fun.
4) Take a vacation that is longer than 2 weeks
5) Make a longer bucket list with cooler things to do before I die.

Technology Addicts Unite!

I've turned into a complete tech gadget collector. I blame my husband. He is forever sending me links to stories about the coolest, newest, most amazing inventions in the world of computers, music players, video contraptions and the like.

I used to be a practical user of technology. I had a home PC, a basic cell phone, a first generation iPod and a simple television/DVD player. It was easy and uncomplicated. I was happy. I didn't know any better. Wasn't paying attention. Life was good. Since meeting Mr. Oz, things have changed. Gone are the days of my distant relationship with all things tech. Now we have a wireless router with multiple computers and printers all networked together to form a spider web of connections & conversations. I have returned to my roots of Apple and am now a proud Macbook Pro owner. I have an iPhone and brighter, fancier iPod. There is also a xbox which Mr. Oz has converted into a media center where we watch our movies and television shows. Nintendo Wii, bluetooth, external hard drives, jump drives, instant messaging, texts, Blogs, Facebook, Twitter . . . you name it we have it, use it, love it. Well . . . mostly love it. We are better, faster, smarter. This is life on the Internet superhighway and I'm driving a powerful convertible. Top down. Hair blowin in the wind. Weeeeeee.

OK, so occasionally I become despondent with the ubiquitous presence of metal, microchips and interfaces. I long for real, face-to-face interaction versus the sound-byte tweets and chirps of data. Sigh. It is in times like this, when I'm at the end of my virtual cord, that I need to take stock of all the benefits of our modern conveniences. I'm good. We're good. We couldn't possibly need another gadget, another megabyte, nothing. Just when I think the limit has been attained; our gadget collection has reached its maximum capacity, well, then Mr. Oz sends me another link. Apple's launching the next generation iPod nano. So? Big deal, right? Well, the new version boasts video recording capability, built in FM radio and a pedometer. Wha, wha, what?!

Drool.

I want it.

I want it in orange.

Help.

I need help.

Blatent Re-Post of Some Funny Stuff

My sister's blog is HILARIOUS! Many of her posts leave me rolling on the floor in gut-bending laughter. I find myself going back to re-read them when I need a moment of humor. Anyway, this last one was so funny, I wanted to re-post here and share with those of you who don't have access to it. Here ya go. Enjoy!

Oh and sister, I hope this doesn't violate any infringement, copy write type laws or anything. Please don't sue me. Thanks.
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This is my letter to the Sam's Club sample lady who confronted me this weekend OR, as I would like to call it, What I Should Have Said, part one.

Dear Sam's Club Sample Lady,

I was shopping in your store this past weekend. Perhaps you remember me, I was the girl pushing the cart, knoshing on the previous sample lady's goods (chicken salad on a whole wheat cracker) when I rolled up to your table and was reading the sign on the front of your cart when you looked up at me and said, "Why don't you chew and swallow what you have in your mouth now before you start taking something from my table." You said it with a sneer of disgust, as I recall. Remember me? I would hope so. I would hope that this little phrase isn't something that you say to all of the Sam's Club shoppers. Perhaps the fact that I looked horrified is enough to jog your memory.

Well, I've got a few things to say to you. First, I'm certain it did not occur to you that I had gotten up early that morning, drove nearly 4 hours and golfed nine holes before I got to Sam's Club to run a few quick errands so I could get home as soon as possible in order to do more chores that I had neglected over the weekend - thus, I didn't have time to stop and eat for most of the day? I don't suppose it mattered to you that I was famished.

I don't suppose it occurred to you that I was merely reading the advertisement in order to discover what strange breaded meat you were, in fact, slicing while I chewed the previous sample and that I had no intention of partaking of said breaded cod strips covered with some weird ketchup based sauce.

Frankly, neither of the above really matter. What matters is that you were hired to do a job....a very simple job, hand out food to would-be purchasers. Yeah, that is right, Blue Hair, I'm talking about you. I'm pointing out that in order to do your job, you don't need a high school degree or college degree. You don't even have to know how to read or write. All you have to know is cut, place on napkin, serve and smile. That is it. I believe it is a fair statement that you aren't even capable of that. You JUST couldn't help yourself, could you? You had to comment. You had to blather on as though anyone with a brain in their head gives a rat's ass what you think. You had to turn some screw - maybe the one that was formerly lodged in your cold, dead heart? Well, I got news for you, Raisin, nobody wants to buy fishsticks from stuck up grannies who don't have enough sense to keep their shitty comments to themselves. If I wasn't such a nice person, I would have gotten medieval on your old, wrinkled ass.

And further, the girth of your behind leads me to believe that you, also, should walk away from the table every once in awhile when your mouth is still full. After all, one who lives in a glass house, should not throw stones.

Tour of Treasures

As your trusted Interwebs soldier of fortune, I am always on the lookout for new haunts and happening places that appeal to higher (and sometimes lower) tastes & sensibilities. When I can find said places in my own backyard, well, all the better. A few places recently hit my radar in the Southwest suburbs of the Twin Cities: JJ's Coffee & Wine Bar in Eden Prairie and Pairings Food & Wine Market in Minnetonka. Are you seeing a theme? Food, wine, coffee? Uhm, yeah. If you are in the neighborhood, I urge you to check out these little gems.

JJ's Coffee & Wine Bar lies just off Hwy 5 West as you are cruising from EP into Chanhassen. Take the Mitchell Rd. exit. Tucked back in a fairly nondescript suburban line-up of banks, nail shops and fitness joints, you would at first liken it to a Panera Bread wanna-be. It has a bit of that feel, but with a very respectable wine list, sample of simple yet tasty noshes and specialty coffees and teas. Oh yeah, and they also have pastries and breakfast items.

I can tell you that the food isn't the most incredible you've ever had, but what it lacks in stellar cuisine it makes up for in quaint & comfortable ambiance. The neutral palette of stone, dark wood and fabric makes for a pretty cozy resting spot for either a lazy weekend afternoon or an after work retreat. There are several overstuffed chairs and booths to snuggle up in, order yourself a creamy latte or glass of Pinot Noir and just relax. They also boast free WiFi (bring your laptop and catch up Facebook and blog reading!) and a drive-thru for coffee and such. By chance, I ended up stopping in the night of their "soft" opening so they were still working out some of the kinks. I spoke to the owner -- the actual JJ herself. She was super helpful and solicited input on the menu, drinks and overall concept. She immediately struck me as someone who deserves success. To that end, I hope all 4 of my blog readers, go and check it out sometime soon. :)




Mr. Oz and I were out running some weekend errands the other day when we decided to stop into Pairings: Food & Wine Market. Right off of Hwy 62 and Shady Oak Road, Pairings appears grocery store like. I didn't know what to expect. Was it an upscale deli? Wine shop? Restaurant? Speciality gourmet store? The answer is YES, all of the above. The place is divided into two sections. On the left you have a D'amico-like restaurant where you belly up to the counter, request your choice of made-to-order sandwiches, salads, pasta or wood-fired pizzas. You get a number, sit down, and they bring your food to you when it is ready. This counter is flanked on one side by a fine array of fromage in the cheese case. The other side holds a variety of gourmet nibbles and treats. On the right, you can veer off into the wine shop. Once inside, you'll find much more than wine . . . Pairings boasts one of the most extensive beer selections I've seen in these parts. Do they have rare Trappist Ale made by Belgian Monks? Yep. How about batch crafted hoppy ales from teeny-tiny breweries that no one has even heard of yet? Ahh, yep. We could have spent an hour exploring this place. The fun thing is if you order some food and plan to dine in at the restaurant, you can buy your wine or beer and take it over to the food side. No corkage fee. Just pour and drink.

Of course, I bought some tasty bits at the shop: Ames Farm single source honey, a Voiges chocolate bar, a nice slab of Bucheron goat cheese. Mr. Oz and I had lunch. While he dined on Sicilian sausage pizza, I tried the Asian curry pasta with chicken. Seriously good food. By the way, I HIGHLY recommend Ames Farm honey. Holy man. It is a sugary, sticky delight and pairs up well with tangy goat cheese spread on a cracker. Thanks for showing me the light Anne!

This concludes the Twin Cities Tour of Treasures for now. Bon Appetito!

Fear, Love and Stasis

I believe there are three main forces at work guiding how we humans engage with the world around us. These subconscious and ever-present forces drive us to do the things we do. The first is fear. When it comes down to it, fear is a pretty strong motivator. The fear of failure could push us to wake up each day, put one foot in front of the other, and make something happen, while a fear of success could keep us from truly reaching our utmost potential. Oftentimes when I find myself upset, anxious, worried or scared, it takes only a few moments of self-reflection to realize that I'm probably reacting out of fear. Prejudice is a symptom of fear. Wars are born from fear -- fear of what "the other side" might do to us first, fear of the unknown, fear of an end to our way of life, etc.

The second, and much more enticing force, is love. I use the term love in an all-encompassing kinda way. Love might be phrased, more explicitly, as unwavering and overwhelming acceptance, appreciation and good will. Although love can take other forms such as Eros or romantic, sexual love, I'm primarily focusing on the Agape version. Agape has been defined as "divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing, active, volitional and thoughtful love." A mother's love falls under this category. Not easy to come by. When you have it, hang on to it and cherish it. When you don't have it, keep looking and don't give up. It's that important. So much of what we do is in response to, in quest of, in reaction toward, this powerful force. As the old adage goes, we do crazy things for Love.

The third force could probably be best summarized as the force of Stasis. I think of this as the continual search for balance and comfort; the status quo maintained. This is about satisfying our instinctual needs and basic desires. Food and shelter would qualify as aspects of this Stasis. We want to survive and need creature comforts to do so. I think Stasis has gotten us into a lot of trouble. As humans we often reach Stasis and have all of our physical concerns taken care of. This is where the other two forces kick in. Whether it is at the urging of Fear or Love, we get greedy. We want more. We get more. Suddenly, our Stasis is thrown off kilter. We are over indexing on plush, easy, carefree, glittery, new and better when we really didn't even need or want anything else in the first place. When this happens, Stasis is lost. In the immortal words of Britney Speers, "Oops, I did it again."

So why all the reflections on these invisible yet important forces? Perhaps it is on my mind because I spent a lot of time out of Stasis this weekend attending various fairs and festivals with friends and family. First up was a trip to the state fair -- the great Minnesota Get Together. Upon entering the gates, me and my band of hungry foot soldiers cut a swathe of feverish gorging on bad-for-you, deep fried, stick enhanced, fantastically carnivorous delightfulness. It was a never ending feast. We left an array of empty cups, dirty napkins and greasy wrappers in our wake.







The next day found us doing similar damage at the Renaissance Festival. Although somewhat more subdued, the Ye-Old event ignited more encounters with jumbo smoked turkey legs, bread bowl chowders, cream puffs, pickles and mead (not necessarily in that order and not all consumed by moi). Yes, I drank mead -- it's a rather tasty beverage made from fermented honey. Who knew? Well, all this consuming made me stop and consider what it was all about. Sure, the motivation was to have fun, spend some time in the sunshine enjoying the last, fading glory of summer, share some laughs with my sister, brother-in-law, little bro and hubby.





This is the third year that Mr. Oz and I attended the state fair. The fair was the scene of our memorable third date so it's become a tradition of sorts. There's nostalgia, entertainment, the lure of people watching . . . all of these are fine reasons. When in Rome, one has a need to experience Rome in all its sensorial glory; soaking it in, tasting its salty, sweet, bitter and briny wonder. But, what about my theory of fear, love and stasis as forces behind everything we do? Well, I think for me, my Stasis jumped completely out of whack. I've taken it too far. I'm in too deep. What I haven't quite figured out yet is whether Fear or Love is to blame for my actions. What hole am I trying to fill? What am I trying to outrun? I need to regain my sense of Stasis and get back into balance, stat.

Cleansing, healing, calming, re-centering are words and deeds I must become intimately familar with. Sounds a little too "Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts," perhaps. Sometimes a corn dog is a symbol of fear, a sign of self loathing, a lack of appreciation and a profound imbalance. Sometimes, just sometimes, a corn dog is just a corn dog.

Just Call Me Crazy Stage Mom

It's official. I've fallen in love. I'm declaring it to the world today. This is not just some passing fancy or silly crush. Nope. I'm head over heels and seriously obsessed. My husband knows about it too. He's not upset. He understands. These things happen. The fact that I have found this love does not diminish the adoration I have for my dear husband, no not in the least. What can I say? I love my dog! He's just THE best little puppy . . . so cute, so cuddly, so devilishly smart and, of course, extremely naughty.

Last weekend, found us hanging by a local lake with one of our Besties, J-Hawk. Chilling on the shore, people watching and kickin it provided ample photo opportunities. J-Hawk has this sweet camera and amazing eye so she got to snapping. Ahhhhh, little Ozymandias, how adorable, right?

I'm going to investigate puppy modeling agencies cuz this guy needs to be in magazines, on billboards, gracing the front of various dog food packages, perhaps on the cover of Dog Fancy magazine . . . seriously. He's gonna be a star. I hope I don't become like one of those whack job stage mothers who pimp out their children and get all Joan Crawford "no more wire hangers" on them. That would be bad. I just want to see my boy realize his dream of super fame, riches and what not.

OK, that reminds me. Did anyone seen the movie Bruno this summer? If you did, you can appreciate the comment about Stage Mothers. There is a particular scene where Bruno is casting for little children to take part in this offensive commercial. As he explains the premise of the video to the would-be child stars' moms and dads, the plot gets stranger and stranger. He asks things like "so, your child would be dressed up as a Nazi and torturing another child with a sword while flames are surrounding him. Would that be ok.?" All the parents are like "oh, sure. That is fine." WHAT?!? Although Bruno (aka Sasha Baron Cohen) may not be everyone's cup of tea, he sure does know how to put a spotlight on some of our society's more insane habits and practices. Love it.

But I digress. Anyone know the name of a good agent so I can get my dog into some Hollywood movies?

Dining Out

As many of my loyal (3 of you) blog readers know, I occasionally like to check out new dining establishments, take pictures and offer up my reviews. This weekend, in between running errands and lazing about, I had the opportunity to try three new spots in the Twin Cities.

On Friday night, the hubby and I had a date night of sorts. We wanted sushi and just happened to have a $50 gift card to Tiger Sushi 2 in Minneapolis. About a month ago, we attended a SidewalkDog.com sponsored 'sushi with your poochie' event at Tiger Sushi 2. Upon arrival at this dog-tastic shin-dig, we were greeted with the news that we won a gift card. Yippee!! The patio just happened to be overrun with dogs and their owners -- it was wall to wall yips and yaps and not an open seat to be found. Sadly, this meant we did not get any sushi with our poochie. Well, this weekend we went back. I had read some mixed reviews about the place online, but came in with an open mind and empty stomach. Tuna Tataki tacos were yummy but my crunchy salmon and tuna roll was . . . well, it smelled kinda fishy. Mr. Oz enjoyed his sushi combo platter, but wasn't blown away by the freshness. All in all, it was a fine meal and I might go back for happy hour or something.

The ginger infused martini was superb though! Delicious.


On Saturday, we hit this new frozen yogurt place in our hood. Freeziac is the first of its kind in the Twin Cities. Patterned after the popular west coast chains, Pinkberry and Yogurtland, this place is a veritable cornucopia of flavors and add-your-own toppings. They boast a selection of about 8 yogurt flavors with a mix of both tart and sweet varieties. You grab your cup and fill 'er up. Next you can add a wide array of crunch toppings, fruits and sauces to make your treat complete. The yogurt is weighed and you pay by the ounce. It's not cheap, but it is oh-so-delectable and refreshing. I high recommend Freeziac. I'll probably be there at least once a week doing my part to keep the place in business.



Finally, today my friend Jess and I had dinner at the latest contestent vying for the title of 'Worlds' Greatest Hamburger Joint.' Smashburger in Golden Valley, MN has been open for several months now. There's been some talk of it in the local press. Of course, I had to check it out. When we arrived, luckily the line wasn't too long. A few short minutes and we had placed our order and nabbed a table. Just as our food arrived, the line grew and trailed out the door and half way around the block. So here's the good and the bad about Smashburger:

Pros:
If you are a fan of In & Out Burger, you'd like Smashburger. The flavor and portion size reminded me of the infamous West Coast chain quite a bit.

I ordered the Twin Cities Smashburger and Smash Fries. What the place lacks in imaginative product naming, it makes up for in taste. This burger was awesome! The meat piles out over the sides of the bun, cheese dripping so much I had to switch over to a fork and knife tactic before I was even half way through.




Smash fries are yummy.

Cons:
The dining room is not necessarily configured in the best way. The order line cuts a perfect swathe through the middle of the restaurant in such an awkward way. Patrons hover over you as you eat making you feel very claustrophobic. It's really quite annoying.

The prices are a little high. I had a burger, fries and root beer for a little over $11. I suppose it beats gourmet restaurant prices, but for all the cramped and claustrophia vibes, I'd expect under $10 to be more appropriate.

This concludes my impromptu restaurant review. I'm no James Beard, but hey, I also don't charge my dear friends (readers?) a subscription fee for my pearls of dining wisdom. Eat at your own risk people.

The Rumor of My Demise Has Been Exaggerated

No, I didn't drop off the face of the planet. I'm still here. Alive and kickin it old school since 1972. It may seem as if I've abandoned my post. Little Ozy the wonder pup has been occupying a great deal of my time these days. Man, he's a handful. We have dubbed him the Boston Terrorist due to his high energy and obsessive, compulsive disorder when it comes to shoe laces, pant legs, shoes, leaves, magazines, dirty clothes . . . basically anything he can fit in his mouth. On a related note, he's developed a hankering, how shall I say this, a mad frenzied and abnormally focused taste for the cat poop (otherwise known as kitty snickers). GROSS. I know!! He cannot get enough. Apparently, once you try it, your hooked -- well, at least if you are a puppy.

Don't worry. We are on the case. Mr. Oz and I have stepped up our game significantly. Diligently we guard against the fiendish cat poop eating behavior. We've become much more frequent kitty litter box scoopers. Mostly we keep the door to the litter box room closed whenever the puppy is roaming free in the household. We bar him from the space using a cleverly devised system of baby gates, zip lines, counter leevers and pullies. Well, mostly just the baby gates, but I REALLY like the visual of a fully rigged up townhouse.

This whole thing has not been easy for the two cats. They are seriously bummed by the presence of the bitty canine rampager. Spencer, our debilitated, slow, fat cat, cannot get away fast enough. Ozy pounces on him, batting and barking, jumping to and fro in a crazy kind of doggy, devil dance. Spencer mounts a meager resistance, occasionally tapping Ozy on the head with his declawed paw. Sad. The good news is Ozy quickly tires of Spencer due to his general lack of engagement. Sophie, on other hand, holds extreme fascination for Ozy. Sophie is our lithe, vocal, dominant diva cat. She's the boss. Well, Ozy is quite territorial. Whenever Sophie is near, it is on like Donkey Kong. Ozy lunges and barks out amplified aggression. Sophie responds with big hisses and growls. Ozy moves forward. Sophie jumps the baby gate and taunts from the other side. It's enough to make a peace loving animal owner want to run away. Calgon, take me away!

Sigh.

Since bringing home our cute little pup, I've developed my own slight obsession. I wouldn't liken it to be on par with Ozy's desire for cat poo, but it might be pretty close. I am completely into Cesar Milan, otherwise known as The Dog Whisperer. That guy's got mad skills. I want to do what Cesar does. He rehabilitates dogs; he trains people "I am the Dog Whisperer." Love him. What I find, as I watch Cesar perform his miracles, is the overlap between dog psychology and human psychology. In the pack driven world of dogs, someone is always trying to establish dominance. In the absence of dominance, there is chaos and crazy. The goal is calm submissive state. People are like this to. They want to be led. Without clear leadership, everything goes to hell. With leadership, things are relaxed and seemingly effortless. This, of course, assumes the leadership is fair and just and not some insane dictator out for blood. Good luck with that, I say. Like dogs, people are motivated by "treats." We need to feel like we have a purpose and balance work and play. Dogs too need to feel they've worked for something before they are rewarded. Maybe I should write a book about how people are like dogs and tie it to organizational psychology. Hmmmm . . . OR, maybe not. But, it's kinda fun to think about.

We have enrolled in puppy class. I'm hoping I'll learn how to channel my inner pack leader and be more like Cesar. In the meantime, no more kitty snickers for Ozy. Bad doggy. Bad.

Social Media is the New Punk

Social Media is the New Punk

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Lego My Alter Ego

I want an alter ego. Beyonce has Sasha Fierce. Sasha is Beyonce's stage persona when she wants to get all crazy and aggressive. Offstage, Beyonce is mild mannered and sweet. Onstage, Sasha is a bat out of hell. Sasha wears a titanium glove on one hand. It is very robotic. It is fierce. I want to be fierce. I want a titanium glove for my hand so people stare and wonder if I'm part machine because I'm so damn fierce. When I'm at work, I could be fierce. When I'm at home, not fierce. I like it.

Remember Garth Brook's alter ego, Chris Gaines? Chris Gaines was Garth's alternative rocker side. According to his 'fictional biography' Christian Gaines was born 10 August 1967, dropped out of high school to form a band called Crush, remained dormant for several years after the death of the band's lead singer, released his first solo album, Straight Jacket, won four Grammys, was involved in a serious car accident in 1992, had numerous plastic surgeries and remained reclusive until the release of his last studio album Triangle in 1996.

WTF?!?

Why is it that only celebrities can have alter egos? When non-celebrities adopt alternate personalities, they are labeled schizophrenic, psychologically unstable and just plain old coo koo. Right? Yet, for celebs its just another day at the office. Enough. I'm not having it anymore. From now on, everybody gets another personality. There will be no ridicule, no scorn, no interventions and trips to see the doctor to procure brain softening medicines. If you want to be a robot handed, laser-pointer obsessed, slicked back hair, super freak with a ninja complex . . . go for it! Whatever floats your boat I say. As for me, I'm still working through the details of my alter ego. The fictional biography is in process. Where was my alter ego born? What were my fictional parents like? How did I become who I am today? Tough stuff creating a totally new person who is me, but really isn't me.

I can tell you one thing. My alter ego does not do dishes, she doesn't clean toilets or do laundry or any of that domestic caretaking. She stays up all night, hangs with the wrong crowd, never plans. She doesn't feel guilt or worry. She's fearless. She's bad ass.

I'm Back

It's been a long time since I wrote anything here. Not going to do a laundry list of reasons. No excuses. I've received some hate mail and threats (you know who you are!). My brother says that everyday I don't blog, the terrorists win. Dammit. I didn't know my blog posts were a vital part of keeping America safe and our freedoms intact. If only someone would have told me sooner I may have been able to stop some of the atrocities our nation has faced in the recent years. Or . . . maybe not. I mean, could I really have stopped George Bush from being elected president all by myself? Probably not.

I guess I just haven't felt inspired. My Mojo went on hiatus. As I reflect upon the lack of muse, I come to the conclusion that I've been feeling a bit complacent these days. This, compounded with new puppy frenzy in the household, is keeping me from rambling on and on and on here.

So, I'll start with some puppy photos and stories. We'll take it from there.

We picked little Ozymandias up from Brian's Bostons on Friday, May 22. It was a perfect day for a road trip through Wisconsin. Our little baby boy Boston greeted us happily at the door, tearing across the living room carpet, plopping down a stair and skidding across the hard wood floor. He immediately gave us wet, puppy licks and kisses. So cute! We fell in love instantly. He had us at hello. The 4+ hour ride back home was a little rough at first. Ozy wanted to climb up and around everything, look out the windows and wriggle around. Once I realized this was not going to work, in his little doggy crate condo he went. From there on out it was smooth napping.




It's been almost three weeks since we got the little guy. Our days have been filled with potty training -- going poopy outside = unbridled enthusiasm and peanut butter flavored liver treats. YUM! We also manage to fit in some play time, food time, cuddle time and nap time. Mostly Ozy likes to chew on things. He LOVES shoes, my hair, our hands and feet, shirts, pants (any clothing really), bags. You name it, he'll chew it. Little did I realize . . . new puppies have razor sharp, piranha teeth. Ouch. I'm trying to channel my inner Cesar Milan, be the pack leader and stop the naughty chewing. So far, my efforts are somewhat weak. Mr. Oz is definitely the pack leader and I'm a mere lackey to his authority. Little Ozy knows this and plays upon my weakness. Sigh. No respect.

So, the puppy is growing like a weed and happy as a lark. Unless, of course, you try to stop him from enjoying a biting frenzy. Then he barks and huffs and goes ballistic. Tough life being a pampered pooch.

The other day I was listening to my XM radio in my car ride home from work. Some talk show was offering self-help advice and one of the topics stuck me right in the ribs. The host asked one of the callers what new thing they had learned that day. A day without learning something new, she said, is a day without food or water. Hmmmm. This made me consider how many teaching moments I encounter each day and I simply don't take the time or attention to notice. I decided to take a few moments at the end of each day to ask myself the simple question: what did I learn today?

I've definitely been learning a lot about puppies. There is all kinds of behavioral psychology going on when trying to train an animal. We are getting a lot further with the positive reinforcement of the good behavior than the negative impunity with the bad behavior. Love trumps anger. I am learning to set aside my frustrations when Ozy has an accident in the house, or chews something that he shouldn't. He's just a puppy and doesn't know any better. His instinct is to bite stuff. He doesn't know how or why he should warn me when he needs to go potty. Patience is a virtue. I'm trying. We are learning a lot about each other, Ozy and I.

Today I learned a soft voice and even temper are more likely to be heard than a loud, blaring siren. I learned to take a breath before proceeding, to look before I leap, to relish the joy which combusts when kids and puppies meet. I learned to give the benefit of the doubt and a large coffee in the morning won't always cure a case of the tireds. I learned to stay out of the way of someone when they are obviously having a bad day. Oh yeah, and I learned that my blog posts are a weapon in the war on terror. I'm a patriot dammit. Go USA!

Summer Tunes

I drove home from work tonight with my windows down and sun roof open. A chill in the air and a brisk wind whippin did not stop me from enjoying the sunshine and promise of summer. I cranked the radio as I sped along the highway and realized my playlists are tired and worn out. They need to be rejuvenated and refreshed. I'm talking about a little mix of chilled out sweet escape & tranquility spiced up with a dash of dance frenzy and wicked 100+ degree beat blasting ear assaulting business. I consulted the online oracles. Prompt downloading and Itunes purchasing ensued.

This stuff will rock you fer schure!! Not in any particular order . . .

Single Ladies - Beyonce

I See You Baby - Groove Armada
Superstylin - Groove Armada
** You might as well get the whole damn album, The Best of: Groove Armada, and save yourself the trouble **

Out of Space - The Prodigy

House of Jealous Lovers - The Rapture

Tainted Love - Soft Cell

One More Time - Daft Punk

Poker Face - Lady GaGa

Paper Planes - M.I.A.

Electric Feel - MGMT

Business Time - Flight of the Conchords
Hurt Feelings - Flight of the Conchords

Rites of Spring

Spring is definitely in full swing here in the upper Midwest. And with the advent of any seasonal shift there are rites, rituals and traditions that must be attended to. You don't want to anger the gods of the equinox, right? Ok, I just made that up, but whatev.

First, there is Spring Break. A time honored rite of passage involving debauched antics and general mayhem. Now, I feel I'm a bit too old to partake in the typical Spring Break activities Daytona Beach style. We all have to make sacrifices and mine just happen to be no more wet t-shirt contests (cough). Instead, Mr. Oz and I took a few days and hit the West Coast for some rest and relaxation. Orange County is beautiful in the Spring so we hit the beaches and found a few patches of sun. Actually, we both got a sunburn. Must remember the SPF 50 next time. We celebrated our one year of marital bliss by strolling down the Huntington Beach pier, taking in the surf and sand, shopping, hanging out with some great friends, In & Out Burger, Newport Beach harbor tour, Yogurtland, Disneyland, more strolling, romantic anniversary dinner and then back home again. It was excellent!






The next ritual is Spring Cleaning. Yep. Gotta scour, scrub and sweep the casa until it sparkles and shines. Call me crazy, but I do get a sense of pleasure from a clean house. The problem is the house never quite stays clean. I think 2009 is the year when the Oz's invest in a house cleaner. Anybody have any recommendations?

For me, the next ritual on my list is walking around one of our wonderful 10,000 lakes. This weekend I did just that with my pal Laura. She and I met up early Saturday morning and hit the trail around Lake Calhoun. I had to bring my camera to document some of the Spring awesomeness! The weather was perfect. Sunshine, a slight breeze, the right amount of "crisp" in the air, the fragrant mix of budding trees and new grass filled the air. Renewal, life and new beginnings . . . I love Spring!


The tree in front of our house is budding out with these gorgeous pinkish, purple flowers. I think it is a flowering crab tree, but I'm not sure. I'm not a horticulturalist in real life but I do play one on television. Check it out:

Makes me wonder why we save our resolutions for the New Year. Why don't we make resolutions in the Spring when newness abounds and nature is getting off to a fresh start? Wouldn't that make more sense than making promises in the cold, dead of winter? I'm just sayin.

Speaking of new birth. Here is an updated picture of Ozy. The little guy is 4 weeks old. Only 3 more weeks and he'll be coming home.

Saying No Is Like Butter Fat

Gearing up for our 1 year anniversary trip to southern California. I could not be more ready to get away and enjoy some time relaxing. It has been a hectic couple of months and, as it usually goes in times like these, balance desperately needs to be restored. Nothing quite like a get-away to kick start the restoration.

In the past I've used this forum to declare my renewed dedication to health & wellness. Have to admit both the health and the wellness have recently taken a backseat to stress. Working long hours, poor food choices, restless sleep and sporadic exercise has taken its toll. It's just not worth it. Sometimes I wonder what drives me to get into these situations, but a need to please and take on too much is definitely at the top of the list. Learning to say no can be a challenge but one that has many rewards. By placing self-imposed limitations, things become pretty darn clear and priorities tend to rise to the top like butter fat separating from milk. Mmmmmmm ... butter fat. You know what they do with butter fat, don't you? They put it in ice cream. Yep. Deliciously tempting, decadently rich and sweet, ice cream. I'm not talking about the cheap, imitation stuff either. This would be the good stuff. The ice cream that coats the inside of your mouth and tongue with a uniquely satisfying velvety feel of buttery goodness. Ice cream. Another thing I need to say NO to. No. No. No.

So, every time you get a request to take on another project, volunteer for yet ANOTHER fund raising event at your kids' school, work on the weekend, take a trip with your third cousin (twice removed), sign up for that store credit card so you can get the 15% off your purchase THAT DAY, help your neighbor overhaul his transmission . . . just ask yourself two questions 1) What is your intention in taking on this activity/task/request? In other words, why are you saying "yes"? 2) Assuming your motives are positive and not stemming from a sense of guilt or burden, ask yourself what you, personally, will get out of the experience? Will it help you grow? Develop yourself in someway? Enrich your spirit? Bring joy to your life? If the answer is no, then I think you should say NO. Is this selfish? Is it wrong? Maybe. I think saying "no" more often, might just be the most unselfish thing you can do. Imagine the time you would have left over to give your loved ones? Your kids? Your spouse? Time for yourself to renew and recharge?

Saying no doesn't mean you don't care about people and their needs. It doesn't mean you are a lazy slacker. Quite often, it can simply mean, you are putting yourself, or the needs of those closest to you, first.

What do you think? Is saying "No" more often a good thing or no?

Now, I will leave you with these questions and this . . .

Updated picture of little Ozy. His eyes are open but look a little glazed and hazy. I'm sure the world is one big blur to him. As each day passes, we are even more excited to get him home!



Could you say 'no' to a face like this? I don't think so.

Birth Announcement

Pictures of the new Boston Terrier pup -- Ozymandias Osborne -- otherwise known as Ozy. Yes, Ozy Osborne! Lil Ozy was born on Monday, April 6. Happy belated birthday puppy! We are so excited to bring you home on May 22nd! This weekend will definitely include some puppy prep work. Need to get a crate, bed, food & water dishes and toys, right??

Hopefully we'll get occasional picture updates, so keep checking back to be overwhelmed by the adorable cuteness.

Forcing Spring To Show Itself

You wouldn't know it was Spring by looking outside my window this morning. There was snow on the ground. Yes, snow . . . snow in April. Oh, it's been known to happen around these parts. So sad. I decided that if Spring wasn't going to come to MN, then I would just find Spring and bring it to me, by force if necessary. First things first, a little Spring cleaning. Sweeping, dusting, scrubbing. While to the untrained eye my cleaning tactics may have resembled a usual set of household chores, it was, indeed, Spring cleaning. Why? Because I labeled it as Spring Cleaning and once you slap a label on something it just IS. Harumph.

Next, I hauled myself over to the local market and picked up some sunny, bright, colorful and Spring-tastic tulips.




For me, tulips are a tried and true sign of Spring. Once you see their lovely green shoots poking through the still semi-frozen ground, you know Spring has sprung.

Now the next activity may not sit right with everyone out there. But, I feel full disclosure is in order. It is MY truth dammit and let the chips fall where they may, I say. So desperate for warmth and sunlight, I took my pasty and pallid self to Catch-A-Tan and nabbed a little artificial sunshine. Ok, Ok, before you start sending me comments about the health risks of UV rays, just know that I don't hit the tanning beds on a regular basis AND I only exposed myself to a mere 6 minutes of the evil death rays. These 6 minutes were glorious and hot. And, while I lay baking under the artificial light I let my mind drift to images and hopes of a real Spring . . . the kind that doesn't involve grocery store tulips and fake sun. Sigh.

April Fool's Horoscope

A long time ago, in a weak moment, I must have signed up for a daily horoscope service. Ever since, I've gotten an email each day foretelling how I should think, act and feel in that 24 hour period. Mostly I ignore these messages and delete without opening. There is just so much junk mail a person can handle in a single sitting. Delete is my friend. Plus, I like to roll the dice. Livin la vida loca, baby. But, once in a while I play a little game with myself. I see the horoscope flashing brightly in my inbox but choose not to read it UNTIL the next day. That's right . . . I throw caution to the wind, live my life and THEN read about what I SHOULD have done. Thumbing my nose at the Fates, I blindly choose free will over, well, cheesy predictions.

Here was my horoscope for yesterday:

Your horoscope for April 1, 2009 Friends, neighbors and relatives could be feeling especially stressed out and explosive today, so this is not a good day to initiate intense communications with them. Keep your conversations with others light and inconsequential. This is a great day to stay home and read, especially since your mind is particularly receptive to unusual ideas. The Internet, as well as videos and TV documentaries could be most informative.

Whew. Good think I did not initiate any intense communications yesterday, right? I wonder if this horoscope meant to say "You could be feeling especially stressed out and explosive today?" Cuz I was all angst-ridden and crab-a-licious yesterday. Unfortunately, I did not watch any videos or TV documentaries which, apparently, could have helped me regain my calm composure. Videos and the World Wide Web (Ted Stevens says it's a series of tubes, ahem) might have sparked "unusual thoughts." Hmmmmm. Would these unusual thoughts been happy thoughts or angry, depressing thoughts? The vague use of the word "unusual" seems to be a huge ass cop out on the part of the horoscope writer. "Unusual" could be good or bad, no? I wonder if watching a documentary about government endorsed torture programs or global warming or serial killers would have calmed the apparent stress eminating from the friends, family and neighbors surrounding me?

Also, I think this horoscope needs to be a little more specific when it endorses videos. I mean, I could have hopped online and watched the Chocolate Rain dude on YouTube over and over again. Would my horoscope knowingly recommend such activities? Not if my horoscope really cared about me, it wouldn't.