Lego My Alter Ego

I want an alter ego. Beyonce has Sasha Fierce. Sasha is Beyonce's stage persona when she wants to get all crazy and aggressive. Offstage, Beyonce is mild mannered and sweet. Onstage, Sasha is a bat out of hell. Sasha wears a titanium glove on one hand. It is very robotic. It is fierce. I want to be fierce. I want a titanium glove for my hand so people stare and wonder if I'm part machine because I'm so damn fierce. When I'm at work, I could be fierce. When I'm at home, not fierce. I like it.

Remember Garth Brook's alter ego, Chris Gaines? Chris Gaines was Garth's alternative rocker side. According to his 'fictional biography' Christian Gaines was born 10 August 1967, dropped out of high school to form a band called Crush, remained dormant for several years after the death of the band's lead singer, released his first solo album, Straight Jacket, won four Grammys, was involved in a serious car accident in 1992, had numerous plastic surgeries and remained reclusive until the release of his last studio album Triangle in 1996.

WTF?!?

Why is it that only celebrities can have alter egos? When non-celebrities adopt alternate personalities, they are labeled schizophrenic, psychologically unstable and just plain old coo koo. Right? Yet, for celebs its just another day at the office. Enough. I'm not having it anymore. From now on, everybody gets another personality. There will be no ridicule, no scorn, no interventions and trips to see the doctor to procure brain softening medicines. If you want to be a robot handed, laser-pointer obsessed, slicked back hair, super freak with a ninja complex . . . go for it! Whatever floats your boat I say. As for me, I'm still working through the details of my alter ego. The fictional biography is in process. Where was my alter ego born? What were my fictional parents like? How did I become who I am today? Tough stuff creating a totally new person who is me, but really isn't me.

I can tell you one thing. My alter ego does not do dishes, she doesn't clean toilets or do laundry or any of that domestic caretaking. She stays up all night, hangs with the wrong crowd, never plans. She doesn't feel guilt or worry. She's fearless. She's bad ass.