The Re-Birth of Scribble Coincides with Spring.

Abysmal Scribble is in DA HOUSE! What is up bloggettes? For those of you who aren't familiar with my work, I am a blogger and thus, you are the bloggettes. And since my blog's very sad demise in the summer of 08, apparently Sweet Lis has been missing my SCHPICE (imagine I'm saying it like Matthew McConaughey says it in A Time to Kill- speaking of spice.....whew, hottie. I don't care if he does have unusually short arms - look it up, everyone is buzzing about it. Bygones.)

I am known as Abysmal Scribble, as Dee, as Sister, as the Destroyer of Worlds (wait a minute....that last one doesn't apply to me.....but it should...mu ha ha ha ha ha) and I am here to entertain with my antics and maybe, if I can summon it, my wit.

Is it a coincidence that my re-birth coincides with Spring? I think not. Spring IS new beginnings.

It has, indeed, sprung upon us, ladies and gents. You know what that means? The smell of grilled meats in the air. Ice cold bevies in your hand. Tulips popping up. Your next door neighbor will be out washin' his car, showing off his alabaster calves beneath his plaid shorts. Dogs will be freely sniffin' each other's butts at the dog park. After a long hibernation, cankles will be making an appearance. Birds, returning from the south, will shit on your car as they come home - but that doesn't matter, because it is Spring and you can get a car wash. Baseball is here! (Which means hot dogs and beer and for some, thicker cankles.) Bicycles and golf balls and outdoor seating and windows rolled down with the wind rushing through your hair....

Can you smell it? Sniff.....ahhhhhh. Spring is here. This is what the Black Eyed Peas must have been thinking about when they wrote "Imma Be" - Touche, will.i.am. "Imma Be livin' that good life. Imma be livin' that good, good life."

I'm planning on getting' out there and causing some trouble so that I have some spice to add to Sweet Lis' blog and thus, your life, Bloggettes.

You are welcome, in advance.

My Lungs Are Filled With Cotton Candy

I have pneumonia. Pneumonia looks like this:




These are not my lungs. These are stand-in lungs. Prop lungs, if you will. But, I had a chest x-ray today and I can honestly say that my lungs do look very similar to above image. Apparently, one should not have cotton in one's lungs. I have this horrible image of bacteria growing like an infiltrating vine or kudzu in the fabric of my air sacs, hooking nasty tentacles and taking root. Very disturbing.

I had a nebulizer treatment at Urgent Care this morning and now I am on all sorts of medication. Prednisone, which is a steroid, is going to help open up my collapsed airways. Levaquin is a hard core antibiotic to kick the kudzu right outta my lungs. According to many online reports, this drug has been known to cause many negative side effects. Upon prescribing it, the doctor warned me that it has been reported to cause tendon rupture in some patients, primarily the achilles tendon. OUCH! I'm really not looking for that to happen so will probably call my original doctor to get a second opinion on that one.

So, for those of you who want to keep track at home, Winter has dealt yet another punishing blow. She has laid the smack down on me yet again. In short, Winter is pissed.

In doing my research, I ran across these words of wisdom on how to cure pneumonia naturally. It made me laugh but then I started coughing so I stopped laughing.

Intro: If you have a fever, sore throat, a chough, chest pains, chills, aching muscles, and enlarged lymph nodes then you probably have pneumonia. Follow these steps to cure pneumonia naturally.

Step 1: To cure pueumonia, you should rest and never leave the house. Have someone watch over you to help take care of you. Pneumonia is very serious; you should probably go to the hospital.

Step 2: When you first get sick, consume a lot of fruit juices and then start consuming vegetable juices after a few days. This can help cure pneumonia naturally and prevent you from getting worse.

Step 3: Consume some cayenne to help break up the congestion.

Step 4: To cure pneumonia naturally, drink a lot of water and tea. Flush out your system with these healthy fluids. Goldenseal tea is probably the best option available to help cure pneumonia naturally.

Step 5: Eat a lot of fruits and veggies along with some fruit juice. Vitamin C is very important in getting better.

Step 6: Rest. Stay in bed and do not do a thing. Working, doing chores, and exercising should all be put on hold until you are 100 percent better.

Step 7: To cure pneumonia naturally, avoid milk, flour products, and sugar until the pneumonia is gone. These items can help increase the thickness of your phlegm and slow down healing.

Step 8: Use a humidifier to help moisten the air where you spend the most time.

Step 9: To cure pneumonia naturally, avoid alcohol and smoking. If someone in your house smokes, ask them to smoke outside until you are better.

Step 10: Keep your feet warm. Soak them in a foot bath to help pull blood away from the chest.

Tips: To cure pneumonia naturally, you should eat a healthy diet, drink plenty of fluids, rest, keep your feet warm, and consume a lot of vitamin C.

Warnings: If your pneumonia gets worse, you should see a doctor immediately.

I like how the first step is to never leave the house and have someone watch over you and you should go to the hospital and then at the very bottom it reads you should see a doctor if it gets worse. Wouldn't going to the hospital require you to see a doctor? Also, wouldn't it require you to leave the house?

Oh and I didn't change the spelling. This is how I found it.

I need to go now and drink fruit juices, soak my feet and eat cayenne pepper a.s.a.p.

Dining In

Tonight was a stay-at-home and eat-in night for the Oz's. We decided to try a new recipe -- Italian Sausage and Potato Soup -- which first hit my radar when my good buddy, Hollow Squirrel, posted about it on her blog. I bookmarked it and waited for the perfect time to give it a try. Reviewers on allrecipe.com likened this to the Zuppa Toscana soup available at the Olive Garden. A few embellishments, a little spicy kick and about 45 minutes later, viola, delicious and creamy soup! I would make this one again. Probably add some red pepper flakes to give it a bit more heat next time, but all in all, it was a satisying meal.

Ingredients

• 1 pound Italian sausage (we used hot turkey sausage)
  
• 3/4 cup chopped onion
• 1 slice pancetta bacon, diced (our love of bacon urged us to add not 1, but 3, slices)
  
• 1 1/4 teaspoons garlic, minced
• 1 cube chicken bouillon (we used 16 oz of chicken broth and reduced water to 2 cups)
  
• 4 cups water
• 2 potatoes, cubed
• 2 cups kale, rinsed and julienned (substituted 3 cups of fresh spinach)
  
• 1/3 cup heavy cream

Directions

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).

Place sausage links on a sheet pan and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until done. Cut each link in half lengthwise, and then into 1/2 inch slices. Set aside for later.

In a 4 quart saucepan over medium heat, saute the onions and the bacon for 10 minutes, or until onions are almost clear. Add the garlic and saute for one more minute. Add the chicken base OR bouillon, water and potatoes and bring to a simmer for 15 minutes. Add the kale, cream and reserved sausage, simmer for 5 more minutes and serve.

Took the opportunity to play with my camera a bit and document the cooking process.

Onions, bacon and garlic sauteing in a 4qt. saucepan.


Add cubed potatoes and chicken broth.


Dice the cooked sausage into 1/2 in. pieces and add to soup mixture.



Add spinach and 1/3 cup heavy cream.

Success!! Bon Appetit

Spongmonkeys!!!!

For some ungodly reason, I've had this jingle stuck in my brain for the last few weeks. I'm not sure how it came to be implanted or how I can release it. So, like any good friend, I am unleashing it on my many -- as of last count 2 -- blog readers.

In my search for more information to try and understand this insane commercial, I found this. Apparently these annoying creatures are known as spongmonkeys and, of course, originated in Great Britain. Those damn Brits! Why are they always filling our heads with nonsense like The Spice Girls and spongmonkeys?

Now I wonder if you would consider these spots "genius advertising" or not? I suppose one should look at the ROI Quiznos received as a result of airing the ads, but for sheer entertainment value, I'd probably rank it fairly high. Spongmonkeys . . . . you either love 'em or hate 'em, BUT will you buy your next lunch from an establishment that boasts levitating, shriveled rats as spokesvarmints? Errr, probably not.

Quiznos kinda sucks anyway. When is the last time anybody ate at a Quiznos? Seriously.

The Things The Snow Left Behind

Went for a walk tonight. It was a real walk. It involved sneakers and pavement and locking my door because I would be gone so long that prowlers could enter and steal my shit. Well . . . not literally steal my shit cuz I flush that down clown, but ya know what I mean. I had moments, in my meandering through the neighborhood, where I nearly forgot about my broken ankle. My foot is feeling good, at least good enough for me to go for a long-ish stroll.

Some curious things I saw on my walk included all of the rubbish that is visible now that the snow is gone. There are some nasty remnants out there. I saw LOTS of cigarette butts. LOTS. Also spotted (and avoided) plenty of dog turds. PLENTY. There were random empty cans and bottles, what looked to be rabbit droppings -- perhaps it was fertilizer. As I continued on my journey, it became a game to see what the strangest thing might be. Banana peel. Sock. Fast food wrapper. Then my eyes caught a glint of metallic in a nearby patch of dead grass. Cell phone. Yep, somebody done lost their cell phone. I kept on on walkin. The phone probably doesn't work anymore. Hopefully some poor squirrel can snag it and use it to call his homies or order up a pizza. Squirrels deserve cell phones too. Why should humans get all the good stuff?

I know there is a metaphor here. The things that people leave behind. Renewal of life dredging up past transgressions and the like. I was just happy to be out in the fresh air enjoying the smells and sounds of Spring and grateful my hoof no longer hurts.

On a completely unrelated note, I have recently grown weary of this blogging thing. Thinking about packin it in and just going back to my good ole paper journal. Something about physically writing, putting pen to paper, that just feels right and therapeutic and soul purging. I don't know. I guess when I pour my thoughts and questions into my personal journal I am somewhat reassured by the fact that no one, only me, reads it and gives a damn. Only me. By its very nature it is a solitary, private action. This blogging thing is oddly public and strangely voyeuristic. It's like walking around inside with the curtains open. You get the feeling people are watching but no one stops and knocks on the door to say hello. That's creepy. Here I become too easily impacted by the lack of response. The whole deal is set up to create a feedback loop, so when nothing happens and no one jumps in the water, it seems more sad, more lonely and more isolating than my personal journal experience could ever feel. I'd rather feel alone and able to tell it all to no one than feel exposed in a crowd (or, in my case, a handful).

Odd, eh?

Why did I just ask that question?

Time To Spice It Up!

This blog lacks flavor. I'm looking to kick it up with something a wee bit saucy. What this blog needs is some spice. Now, I suppose that could mean a variety of things. I'm not talking online porn, although a few well placed and completely appropriate images of one Robert Downey Jr. are not entirely out of the question. Now that is spicy!


To amp up the flavor profile I thought about dedicating my blog to spicy foods from around the globe. Unfortunately, I'm kinda a wimp when it comes to heat on the taste buds so my content would be severely limited. You can only write so much about ketchup and mild curry stir-fry, right?
No, no, no. What this blog needs is a fresh perspective, a slightly twisted outlook that might, on occasion, cause spontaneous peeing of the pants due to intense laughter. I'm talking about a GUEST BLOGGER! Yeee Haw. Hang on to your knickers ladies and gent, the Abysmal Scribble is on the prowl and coming to you at a 'That's My Best' posting in the near future. I invited Scribs to lay it down and take no prisoners. Let's hope the muse strikes her soon and she graces us with some guest blogger spicy goodness.

I'll be here as well to drop a line and, if you are lucky, some more Robert Downey photos. :)

Oh, and we'll try the bold font for the visually impaired fans out there. Shakin it up in 2010.

Over and out.

An Ozy Retrospective

It's been awhile since I posted an Ozy update. He's nearly a year old and the time has flown by. So many milestones for our little furry baby -- yes, that's right -- I called him a furry baby. He's almost completely house trained and only has the occasional "accident" now and again. Ozy graduated from puppy training school (albeit not at the top of his class), had his first professional photo shoot, all of his shots AND continues to defend his homeland from the tyrannical reign of all socks. Socks, after all, are his sworn foe. I suspect Ozy believes the socks are swallowing our feet and he doesn't appreciate that very much.

Some of the OzMan's favorite things include: chewing on jumbo beef tendons (otherwise known as Flossies), trying to lick our feet just after we get out of the shower, chasing our cat Sophie, laying on his bed in front of the fireplace, playing fetch with his rope bone, eating ANYTHING, going for walks so he can sniff and sniff and sniff some more, fighting socks, barking at us when he demands our attention, watching videos of himself (seriously!), going for car rides, burrowing under the comforter and cuddling up, doing his little swimmer strokes on the carpet after he is released from his kennel, greeting strangers every chance he gets, playing with his doggy friend Daisy, trying to eat dryer lint -- did I mention he eats EVERYTHING?

I thought it would be fun to do a little photo retrospective and show images of Ozy over the past year. Man, he sure has grown!

Newborn puppy Ozy:


4 Weeks Old Ozy:


11 Weeks:


4 Months:



7 Months and his ears shot straight up!


9 Months (oh, that's my sister holding him):


11 Months and lookin kindy grumpy. Notice the ears are now floppy again:


"Memories, like the corners of my mind . . . misty water colored memories . . . of the way we were . . ."

Today was another milestone moment for both Ozy and his owners. We attended our first exclusive party. Only Boston Terriers allowed. I joined the Twin Cities Boston Terrier group which gets together monthly for play groups. It was utter mayhem. About 15 Bostons running around, butt sniffing, peeing, barking and having the time of their little doggy lives. Ozy loved it. At one point, he literally had froth coming out of his mouth due to all the excitement and sheer exhaustion. Gross, I know.

I tried to capture some of the moments, but these photos don't due the sensory experience any justice. The echo of barking, the smell of urine, cannot possibly be recorded. Oh how I wish it could.





Needless to say, we got home and Ozy crashed. Running with the big dogs takes a lot outta a guy. Whew. What a wonderful weekend!!

Don't Be Fooled. Spring Is Not Here Yet.

Spring, it seems, is upon us in the upper Midwest. All of the piles and piles of dirty snow are slowly melting away revealing soupy, muddy messes. My dog is having a wonderful time splashing in puddles and sniffing all that the snow banks had kept hidden for so long. Of course, Ozy's joy becomes our sorrow when he runs madly into the house only to leave paw prints on the carpet and sofa. Sigh. Spring, oh how we've missed you.

As much as we would like to welcome the sunshine and temperate clime, I simply can't. You see, I am nobody's fool. I refuse to be lured into a false sense of complacency by this trixy weather. Oh sure, it's all light winds, soft rains, 50 degrees with birds twittering in the soon-to-be budding trees. I can actually see grass. What a cruel temptress Mother Nature is. She plays with our emotions. No sooner than we start busting out our bermuda shorts and SPF 30 and, BAM, we'll be hit by a blizzard. Oh, don't you know it. So, I urge all of you to guard your feelings well. Don't open yourself up to the happiness of Spring just yet lest you be burned.

On that optimistic note, I'm sure you have all been dying for an ankle update. Last I blogged, I was about to get my air cast off. Well, it's been 2 weeks without the cast (8 weeks total since I broke my ankle) and things are o.k. The first week found me limping and getting around quite slowly. Unfortunately, I still had a lot of swelling and by the end of each day my whole ankle and foot were puffed up to roughly the size of a Ford Focus. Apparently, this condition is known in the medical circles as pitting edema and it is a common occurance in healing of lower extremity fractures. Good times.

Anyway, the past week has definitely been better. I'm able to walk much better and navigate the stairs. My swelling has subsided a bit, but not entirely. For those who are visually inclined, here is a photo of my foot today. Note, this is after a day of moderate activity where I was able to keep my foot elevated for several hours. It gets much worse when I don't elevate my foot:



In case, you think this looks normal. It isn't. I typically don't wield cankles of this proportion. Just so you can get a sense of what usual looks like for me, here is my right ankle. Notice the sharp dimensions of bony protrusion, the definition around the foot and ankle. In other words, the non-cankle like appearance:
Yes, I know, I know. I could use a pedicure. I actually got one the day I removed das boot. It was heavenly. However, I think another pass through the foot scraper would be helpful. Skin does not do well when confined for 6 weeks in an air cast. I'm just sayin.

Another fun thing is I can't really fit into too many of my shoes yet. The puffiness keeps me confined to Uggs and the like. Today was truly a milestone as I was able to get a sneaker on for the first time. Hip, hip hooray! Who knows, maybe in another few weeks I'll be wearing 3 inch high heels . . . . NOT!