Spongmonkeys!!!!

For some ungodly reason, I've had this jingle stuck in my brain for the last few weeks. I'm not sure how it came to be implanted or how I can release it. So, like any good friend, I am unleashing it on my many -- as of last count 2 -- blog readers.

In my search for more information to try and understand this insane commercial, I found this. Apparently these annoying creatures are known as spongmonkeys and, of course, originated in Great Britain. Those damn Brits! Why are they always filling our heads with nonsense like The Spice Girls and spongmonkeys?

Now I wonder if you would consider these spots "genius advertising" or not? I suppose one should look at the ROI Quiznos received as a result of airing the ads, but for sheer entertainment value, I'd probably rank it fairly high. Spongmonkeys . . . . you either love 'em or hate 'em, BUT will you buy your next lunch from an establishment that boasts levitating, shriveled rats as spokesvarmints? Errr, probably not.

Quiznos kinda sucks anyway. When is the last time anybody ate at a Quiznos? Seriously.

The Things The Snow Left Behind

Went for a walk tonight. It was a real walk. It involved sneakers and pavement and locking my door because I would be gone so long that prowlers could enter and steal my shit. Well . . . not literally steal my shit cuz I flush that down clown, but ya know what I mean. I had moments, in my meandering through the neighborhood, where I nearly forgot about my broken ankle. My foot is feeling good, at least good enough for me to go for a long-ish stroll.

Some curious things I saw on my walk included all of the rubbish that is visible now that the snow is gone. There are some nasty remnants out there. I saw LOTS of cigarette butts. LOTS. Also spotted (and avoided) plenty of dog turds. PLENTY. There were random empty cans and bottles, what looked to be rabbit droppings -- perhaps it was fertilizer. As I continued on my journey, it became a game to see what the strangest thing might be. Banana peel. Sock. Fast food wrapper. Then my eyes caught a glint of metallic in a nearby patch of dead grass. Cell phone. Yep, somebody done lost their cell phone. I kept on on walkin. The phone probably doesn't work anymore. Hopefully some poor squirrel can snag it and use it to call his homies or order up a pizza. Squirrels deserve cell phones too. Why should humans get all the good stuff?

I know there is a metaphor here. The things that people leave behind. Renewal of life dredging up past transgressions and the like. I was just happy to be out in the fresh air enjoying the smells and sounds of Spring and grateful my hoof no longer hurts.

On a completely unrelated note, I have recently grown weary of this blogging thing. Thinking about packin it in and just going back to my good ole paper journal. Something about physically writing, putting pen to paper, that just feels right and therapeutic and soul purging. I don't know. I guess when I pour my thoughts and questions into my personal journal I am somewhat reassured by the fact that no one, only me, reads it and gives a damn. Only me. By its very nature it is a solitary, private action. This blogging thing is oddly public and strangely voyeuristic. It's like walking around inside with the curtains open. You get the feeling people are watching but no one stops and knocks on the door to say hello. That's creepy. Here I become too easily impacted by the lack of response. The whole deal is set up to create a feedback loop, so when nothing happens and no one jumps in the water, it seems more sad, more lonely and more isolating than my personal journal experience could ever feel. I'd rather feel alone and able to tell it all to no one than feel exposed in a crowd (or, in my case, a handful).

Odd, eh?

Why did I just ask that question?

Time To Spice It Up!

This blog lacks flavor. I'm looking to kick it up with something a wee bit saucy. What this blog needs is some spice. Now, I suppose that could mean a variety of things. I'm not talking online porn, although a few well placed and completely appropriate images of one Robert Downey Jr. are not entirely out of the question. Now that is spicy!


To amp up the flavor profile I thought about dedicating my blog to spicy foods from around the globe. Unfortunately, I'm kinda a wimp when it comes to heat on the taste buds so my content would be severely limited. You can only write so much about ketchup and mild curry stir-fry, right?
No, no, no. What this blog needs is a fresh perspective, a slightly twisted outlook that might, on occasion, cause spontaneous peeing of the pants due to intense laughter. I'm talking about a GUEST BLOGGER! Yeee Haw. Hang on to your knickers ladies and gent, the Abysmal Scribble is on the prowl and coming to you at a 'That's My Best' posting in the near future. I invited Scribs to lay it down and take no prisoners. Let's hope the muse strikes her soon and she graces us with some guest blogger spicy goodness.

I'll be here as well to drop a line and, if you are lucky, some more Robert Downey photos. :)

Oh, and we'll try the bold font for the visually impaired fans out there. Shakin it up in 2010.

Over and out.

An Ozy Retrospective

It's been awhile since I posted an Ozy update. He's nearly a year old and the time has flown by. So many milestones for our little furry baby -- yes, that's right -- I called him a furry baby. He's almost completely house trained and only has the occasional "accident" now and again. Ozy graduated from puppy training school (albeit not at the top of his class), had his first professional photo shoot, all of his shots AND continues to defend his homeland from the tyrannical reign of all socks. Socks, after all, are his sworn foe. I suspect Ozy believes the socks are swallowing our feet and he doesn't appreciate that very much.

Some of the OzMan's favorite things include: chewing on jumbo beef tendons (otherwise known as Flossies), trying to lick our feet just after we get out of the shower, chasing our cat Sophie, laying on his bed in front of the fireplace, playing fetch with his rope bone, eating ANYTHING, going for walks so he can sniff and sniff and sniff some more, fighting socks, barking at us when he demands our attention, watching videos of himself (seriously!), going for car rides, burrowing under the comforter and cuddling up, doing his little swimmer strokes on the carpet after he is released from his kennel, greeting strangers every chance he gets, playing with his doggy friend Daisy, trying to eat dryer lint -- did I mention he eats EVERYTHING?

I thought it would be fun to do a little photo retrospective and show images of Ozy over the past year. Man, he sure has grown!

Newborn puppy Ozy:


4 Weeks Old Ozy:


11 Weeks:


4 Months:



7 Months and his ears shot straight up!


9 Months (oh, that's my sister holding him):


11 Months and lookin kindy grumpy. Notice the ears are now floppy again:


"Memories, like the corners of my mind . . . misty water colored memories . . . of the way we were . . ."

Today was another milestone moment for both Ozy and his owners. We attended our first exclusive party. Only Boston Terriers allowed. I joined the Twin Cities Boston Terrier group which gets together monthly for play groups. It was utter mayhem. About 15 Bostons running around, butt sniffing, peeing, barking and having the time of their little doggy lives. Ozy loved it. At one point, he literally had froth coming out of his mouth due to all the excitement and sheer exhaustion. Gross, I know.

I tried to capture some of the moments, but these photos don't due the sensory experience any justice. The echo of barking, the smell of urine, cannot possibly be recorded. Oh how I wish it could.





Needless to say, we got home and Ozy crashed. Running with the big dogs takes a lot outta a guy. Whew. What a wonderful weekend!!

Don't Be Fooled. Spring Is Not Here Yet.

Spring, it seems, is upon us in the upper Midwest. All of the piles and piles of dirty snow are slowly melting away revealing soupy, muddy messes. My dog is having a wonderful time splashing in puddles and sniffing all that the snow banks had kept hidden for so long. Of course, Ozy's joy becomes our sorrow when he runs madly into the house only to leave paw prints on the carpet and sofa. Sigh. Spring, oh how we've missed you.

As much as we would like to welcome the sunshine and temperate clime, I simply can't. You see, I am nobody's fool. I refuse to be lured into a false sense of complacency by this trixy weather. Oh sure, it's all light winds, soft rains, 50 degrees with birds twittering in the soon-to-be budding trees. I can actually see grass. What a cruel temptress Mother Nature is. She plays with our emotions. No sooner than we start busting out our bermuda shorts and SPF 30 and, BAM, we'll be hit by a blizzard. Oh, don't you know it. So, I urge all of you to guard your feelings well. Don't open yourself up to the happiness of Spring just yet lest you be burned.

On that optimistic note, I'm sure you have all been dying for an ankle update. Last I blogged, I was about to get my air cast off. Well, it's been 2 weeks without the cast (8 weeks total since I broke my ankle) and things are o.k. The first week found me limping and getting around quite slowly. Unfortunately, I still had a lot of swelling and by the end of each day my whole ankle and foot were puffed up to roughly the size of a Ford Focus. Apparently, this condition is known in the medical circles as pitting edema and it is a common occurance in healing of lower extremity fractures. Good times.

Anyway, the past week has definitely been better. I'm able to walk much better and navigate the stairs. My swelling has subsided a bit, but not entirely. For those who are visually inclined, here is a photo of my foot today. Note, this is after a day of moderate activity where I was able to keep my foot elevated for several hours. It gets much worse when I don't elevate my foot:



In case, you think this looks normal. It isn't. I typically don't wield cankles of this proportion. Just so you can get a sense of what usual looks like for me, here is my right ankle. Notice the sharp dimensions of bony protrusion, the definition around the foot and ankle. In other words, the non-cankle like appearance:
Yes, I know, I know. I could use a pedicure. I actually got one the day I removed das boot. It was heavenly. However, I think another pass through the foot scraper would be helpful. Skin does not do well when confined for 6 weeks in an air cast. I'm just sayin.

Another fun thing is I can't really fit into too many of my shoes yet. The puffiness keeps me confined to Uggs and the like. Today was truly a milestone as I was able to get a sneaker on for the first time. Hip, hip hooray! Who knows, maybe in another few weeks I'll be wearing 3 inch high heels . . . . NOT!

North Loop Restaurants

Despite my gimp leg, I have been able to get out and about. This week found me in the North Loop area of Minneapolis, otherwise known as the Warehouse District. For Twin Cities foodies, this is where it's at these days. Yummy-ness abounds.

First stop was Bar La Grassa for some birthday celebrating with the lovely Alison and Anne. Opening up in the Fall of 2009, I've heard nothing but good things about the Isaac Becker and Josh Thoma restaurant. The fare is sophisticated Italian with a unique flair. Delicious bruschetta and fresh pastas highlight the menu.

The space is dark wood, low lights with high, open ceilings. Elegant yet incredibly comfortable, La Grassa boasts an interesting scene of urban after work happy hour goers and the older suburban set. At one point, we swore we saw David Hasselhoff lingering by the hostess stand. Later, it seemed Father Time was hanging at the bar drinking a gin martini. John Forsythe anyone? Yep, he was there too. Ok, not really.


Come hungry and, better yet, come early. If you don't have reservations, you will definitely be hard pressed to nab a table after 6pm. My friends and I enjoyed a number of taste treats. The seared sea scallops were a great way to start our meal, but my favorite thing, by far, was the soft egg and lobster bruschetta. Oh my. This would make a killer breakfast. La Grassa, you had me at goat cheese and white truffle oil.



Today, Mr. Oz and I returned to the area and had lunch at another North Loop spot just a door down from La Grassa -- Be'wiched Deli. I would recommend.


The Be'wiched folks give the same attention to the choice of ingredients and flavor compliments as you would find in any high end, gourmet restaurant. They take the sandwich to a whole new level. Fresh. Spicy. Chewy. Move over Tom Colichio, Witchcraft has some competition.

For Mr. Oz it was all about the pastrami. I tried the roast beef, havarti, onion jam and creamy horseradish on a ciabatta. Next time I'm going to have to try the egg salad which, apparently, is to die for.


So, that's my restaurant 411 y'all. Enjoy!!

Skeleton . . . And Not the Bony Kind

Been watching the winter Olympics this week and am amazed by the displays of athleticism and skill. My favorite sports, thus far, have to be alpine skiing and figure skating. My fear of high speeds and being out of control kick in and I break out into cold sweats whenever I watch those zooming skiers or the high flying snow boarders.

Some of the events, well, I just don't get 'em. The first is ice dancing. Artistic? Yes. Drama-filled? No doubt. Cool costumes? Ah ha. But, overall it seems to be more ballet than sport. And then there is the whole skeleton and luge deal. A dude DIED on a practice run. At what point does a person decide they want to go head first, 90 miles an hour, down a curved frozen track? How does someone get into this? Can you imagine the parental response to a small child's request to start practicing skeleton? No thanks.

"Mommy, I want to do the skeleton."

"What is that?"

"Well, I dress up in spandex and a helmet. Then I lay on a sled and fly head first down a track of sheer ice at almost 100 mph with little or no control over my own body."

"Hells to the No!"

Wouldn't it be cool if they just took the summer Olympic sports and turned them into winter Olympics sports? Swimming and diving outdoors in the cold? Gymnasts competing on a frozen balance beam and parallel bars? Javelin throw with ice spears? What about beach volleyball? Now, that would be something worth watching.

Go USA!