Stress. We've all had it. We've all been there. Sometimes, try as you might, you just can't shake the worry and anxiety. It creeps into your brain, plants its little roots and takes hold. Such has been the situation with me lately. I am experiencing restless sleep. Last night I could not fall asleep. Tossing and turning all night, no position was comfortable. Finally, I just gave up and got out of bed at 4am. Why not? My mind was ceaselessly racing with the litany of tasks I needed to accomplish at work, household chores and other such ridiculousness. Seriously. Annoying.
So, I know what you are asking. "Why so stressed panda bear?" Well, first I have a lot of #h*$ going on. Transferred to a new role at work so have new projects, team members, boss, deadlines, etc. Still doing some of my previous job as my successor is not set to take over until May. Two jobs? Sure. Not that I'm doing either one terribly well or anything. I guess it really is true. There is only one of you and, darn it, you just can't split me or clone me. Maybe someday modern science will figure out how to genetically replicate someone so corporations can just make their own work force and only have to pay one person's salary and benefits. I wonder if the government would step in and regulate this practice or if they would just assume positive intent and let the free market system work it all out on its own. Not that this blog is a critique of capitalism run a muck or anything. I'm just sayin. Bygones.
Where was I? Oh yes, stress due to work. Been traveling lately. Spent all last week in Austin, TX (for work) and have a trip to Arkansas this week, followed by Florida next week and back to Texas the week after that. Wrap it all up in Phoenix at the end of May. All for work. Too much travel also stresses me out. I really hate the packing, coordinating, TSA security lines, bag checking, flight delaying (I'm referring to you Delta youknowwhoyouare), rental car renting, hotel staying, etc. Sure, it's lots of fun when you are on vacation, but as a weekly activity it leaves a lot to be desired. Hey, this isn't the 1970's when air travel was cool and passengers could smoke in the cabin whilst hoisting back highballs of scotch and soda that just kept flowing from happy, pretty ladies who tended to your every request. Now you're lucky if you get a small plastic cup of Diet Coke and some complimentary pretzels while they cram you in like sardines and the overworked flight attendants barely flash a smile (Again, Delta, c'mon). bygones.
What else? So, my beloved doggy Oz had surgery a few weeks back. He had some eye issues and his cornea wouldn't heal properly. Developed 'melting cornea' syndrome which essentially means degenerative tissue loss. He was in danger of losing his eye so we did what any adoring pet owner would do. We forked over bank for a tissue graft. Medicines and check-ups followed (and are still following), but he seems to be healing well and almost back to his naughty little self. Sigh. Still, worried about him. Worry.
Tax day?!? Need I say more?
Then you have Japan tsunamis, earthquakes, the rising price of gasoline, Libya, the firing of Gilbert Godfrey as the voice of the Aflac duck. I mean, how much can a person take?
My solution. Read stories like this one on the interwebs. It suggests "Try to isolate what your thoughts are telling you and see if they are reasonable. If not, question your thoughts - why am I thinking this? Is this necessarily true? You will soon be able to monitor your responses and thereby reduce stress." Hmm. Isolating my thoughts? Why didn't I think of that. Isolate this Insomnia Connection.com. Then there is this whole fight or flight thing. Cortisol build-up. I'm a walking time bomb.
I long for a simpler time when anxiety was a distant and infrequent visitor. I want to move to Costa Rica and make tiki torches to sell to tourists by day and pour delicious libations for them to drink at night. I want to see the stars lit up in the night sky and feel the cool tropical breezes. Rat races are for the rats.
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