Dear Oprah,
This is Abysmal. I know that I haven't always been good to you. I know that in the past I said some terrible things, like how I was going to sue your magazine for plagerism and how I thought that you can't possibly "know anything for sure" - I know...I know...I have been critical. And I'm SORRY that I work too late and don't have time to watch every episode.....
But....
But....
I buy your magazine. I have even purchased items from your sponsors...from the "O" recommendations.....I have gone so far as to read books that you have told me to read.....I am a closet fan. And let's face it, you are a GAHZILLIONAIRE.
So. I need you to know. My Ipod has died. It has DIED, Oprah! I cannot lose weight without it. Could you contact your angel network or whoever else you have control over...like maybe even Bill Gates... and get me a new one?
Love, Abysmal.
P.S. Don't make me go to Ellen with this issue.
Surely Oprah can spare an iPod for you. I would assume she has a closet full of 'em and they probably are encrusted with swarovski crystals too. You should ask Oprah for other stuff too. Dream big!! What else could Oprah give you?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Abysmal is a new team member. :)
ReplyDelete