Bevy of Bitchy Comments

Lots of topics to cover. Been awhile.

1) Swine Flu (aka H1N1 virus). This is certainly NOT one of my Bests, but you can't shake a cat by its tail these days without running into a news story talking about the dreaded strain of flu. A couple weeks back, I was taken ill with some sort of bad bug. I'm not sayin it was H1N1. I have no idea. I didn't go to the doctor, primarily for fear that I would find out I had it and would then subconsciously allow my negative, paranoid thoughts to slow down the healing process. I'm superstitious like that. Anyway, the Oz household was stricken down into a violent pit of sickness. Aches and coughs, chills and no thrills.

While I'm not a medical doctor, CDC authority or the like, I think we've only seen the tip of the iceberg on this nasty virus (and the associated media coverage, fear mongering, marketing push for those ugly face masks, etc.). Many schools are reporting outbreaks and are shutting down. Years from now, I wonder if/how we will look back on these dark days and be able to pinpoint our children's idiocy on these few weeks of missed school due to the Swine Flu. I'm just sayin. When I was a kid, we might have had the random and infrequent snow DAY. Never did we have the Swing Flu WEEKS. It's like another summer vacation for these kids. I say put the face masks on, load up on vitamins and zinc tablets and get some book learnin kiddos. It's good for your immunity. It's good for America.

2) Conferences. The week after I recovered from my flu-like symptoms, I traveled to California for a work-related conference. I have very mixed feelings about these types of events. On one hand, I appreciate hearing what some of my peers and colleagues are doing -- new ideas, inspiring examples of great work, thought provoking tidbits. On the other hand, I find it to be mostly a big waste of time when over half the content is simply regurgitated blather from last year's snooze fest. It can be somewhat laughable to hear these presenters boast about their cutting edge [insert: methods, technology, trends, programs, brilliance] when, in fact, it is nothing but old, tired, dried up, yesterday's news. Seriously. Tell me something new and interesting before I scream people.

This is the scene. Big screen. Stage. Powerpoint. Lots of round tables to seat the dwindling and rather unenthusiastic conference goers. Sigh.



OK, now at the risk of sounding terribly crabby, I see the problem as one of old guard versus new upstarts. The folks who plan these events, the ones that find the topics and speakers, tend to be the stalwarts of the Old Guard, the 20, 30+ year veterans who's hey day has passed by. To this group e-mail communication is still a baffling and enigmatic operation, social networking sites are just something those "crazy kids" are into, and Twitter is oh, so cutting edge. Give me a break. There is better, faster, cooler, more relevant stuff happening out there and maybe in 5 years we'll see someone stand up at one of these conferences and predict its arrival after its already come and gone. It makes me crazy. What we need is an UNconference. Something radically different. Let's bring in speakers who don't do what we do each and everyday. New blood. Shake it up. Who's with me?

I also hate all the sales pitch b.s. I have to wade through. It's just a big solicitation forum. This time I did the clever thing and "forgot" my business cards at home. Oops. Sorry. I can't give you my card. How about I just take your card and I call YOU if I'm interested. P.S. Don't wait by the phone or hold your breath.

3) Staycation and Home Decorating. Upon returning from the conference, I took a week to stay home. That's right. My very own staycation. I just needed a break from it all, time to take a few deep breathes and inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Ahhhhhh. Because one can only do so much sleeping and reading, I took on a few home projects. My living room was in need of an extreme home makeover and I don't have the luxury of Ty Pennington coming over and blaring into his bullhorn. I had to make due. A couple trips to Home Depot and I had a quart of paint (Behr, Oyster) and sundry supplies. In one afternoon, a small wall went from a crimson color to a creamy shade of pearl white. Then my inner Genevieve kicked in and I did something incredibly zany -- I posted my couch and chair for sale on Craig's List. In a matter of minutes, I had a hit. Someone was interested! YEAH! I was emboldened to hit the Pottery Barn and order the furniture I had been secretly coveting for quite some time.

This change up represents a wave of tiny transformations I've been experiencing lately. I don't know how it happened or when it started, but I've moved from a red wine lover to a white wine appreciator. What? How? I know. My last vino selections fall in the camp of Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc and not the usual Zinfandel and Pinot Noir. Similarly, my living room palette is sliding away from the dark shades and into a spectrum of neutral hues -- ivory, natural, chocolate brown, oat. Am I turning over a new leaf? Has my body been inhabited by Nate Burkus? I'm not sure. What is next? Will I lose the taste for red meat? Become a vegan? Go totally organic? Move to a commune and raise my own goats? I can't really say.

4) Preview. I'm tired. Need rest. However, I have much more I'd like to share. I'd like to post on the sometimes controversial topic of animal neutering, the always painful theme of divorce (no, not mine), horror films, cider and window treatments. I'm sure the anticipation will rage inside you for a full minute or two.

P.S. Don't wait by your PC. Don't hold your breath. It's been over a month between my last post and this one so I can't really tell you when I'll get to these subjects.