The Academy Awards

Tonight is the night -- the glitz, the glamor, the red carpet extravaganza that is the Academy Awards. I'm a sucker for it all. I love the Oscar's. Truly I do. They are like my Super Bowl people. I love them so much that I have officially stopped going to any Oscar parties because there is far too much talking and carrying on. I like quiet when I'm watching the parade of Hollywood royalty hopping out of their limos, getting interviewed by the likes of Billy Bush and Ryan Seacrest. Obviously I'm falling into some serious caddy business because I'm also a huge fan of the fashion hits and misses that always follow the next day.

Here are a couple things I don't understand about the Oscar's. Maybe some of you out there can shed some light. Why do the reporters on the red carpet always act like complete idiots? They ask the most ridiculous lame questions like "so, who are you most excited to meet tonight?" OR, "did you wife help you get ready tonight?" These are stupid questions. Are they that star struck that they can't come up with anything better?

And, what is up with the music playing almost immediately after an Oscar winner comes up to claim their prize and wants to offer some thank-yous? I think they should institute a music policy that rank orders the most important people to the least important people. For the awards that few, if any, people care about (i.e. best 5 minute short film, best foreign film where the lead actor wears a fake beard, best clay-mation film, etc.) they should play the music and cut them off the second the Oscar statue hits their hands. This would allow more time for the people we care about like Best Actress and Best Actor types. O.k. so my idea may not be overwhelmingly popular, but I think the Academy should give it some serious thought.

Final question I have relates to the Price Waterhouse Coopers accountants that they drag out on the stage about mid-way through the night. I get that these number crunchers are extremely important. They tabulate the votes and guard the envelopes and what not. BUT, seriously do we need to parade them out to take a bow? Does anyone really care? In my opinion it just sucks up valuable time that could be better spent panning the audience for the glitterati or extending the time we get to see the montage of all the people who died this year. SAD.

Since I started my blog far too late to do an Oscar poll justice -- AND, since only a few people know this blog even exists -- I will have to forgo the predictions for tonight's show. Instead, I'll do a little post-Oscar wrap-up with MY BESTS and yes, WORSTS.

Viva la Oscar's!!

What This Whole Thing Is About Y'all

To the few, if any, people out there that may happen upon this interspace (purely by accident, I am sure), let me lay down my blog's purpose for y'all. I am blessed to have many wonderful friends and a terrific family. One of these lovely people (www.hollowsquirrel.com) has been encouraging me to start a blog for quite some time now. Take a bow Mrs. Squirrel. This Bud's for you! Of course, I'll keep it cold for you until after Cletus McFetus is born as I'm sure you could enjoy a cool and refreshing beverage post-delivery. Who wouldn't?

But seriously folks. I finally heeded my friend's words, got myself a shiny new laptop, and here we are. I wasn't sure what to rant and rave about so I decided, after much consternation, to do just that -- RANT and RAVE. This blog is going to be dedicated to my random comments on things, people, places and ideas I love. For those of you who know me well, you have likely heard the phrase "that's my best" escape my lips. The phrase is an old habit I picked up from one of my zany college roommates. Her nickname was Stumpfs if that gives you any indication of what her whole deal was. Probably not. Anyway, Stumpfs was a gleeful young woman who had a lot of "bests." She would open the door of the refrigerator and spy a big bottle of low sodium soy sauce and exclaim "THAT is my BEST!" Give her some soft, pillowy Charmin toilet paper and she would scream "THAT is my BEST!" Obviously, the girl was easily pleased. That said, I think she was on to something. A loud proclamation of all things you adore. What a terrific concept. What if we all pronounced our BESTS for the world to hear? What if we shared this enthusiasm with others and let it spread like the bubonic plague infecting those around us with happiness and delight? This, my good people, is my goal.

What about the "rant" aspect you ask? Good question. Conversely, I will also spend some time dissing on things, people, places and ideas I hate. This is where the idea of balance comes into play. If I'm always spouting joy and love and harmony, that would get pretty boring pretty fast. Again, for those who know me, I tend to be a rather caustic and slightly bitter person. So, I think a little anti-BEST might in order every now and then. How's that for glorious entertainment? Even if nobody reads this, I see it as my opportunity to vent a little venom and get it off my chest. Web therapy, if you will. So, won't you join me on this little magic carpet ride? Stay tuned for my very FIRST rave (or perhaps rant) . . .

This should be fun. Peace out to one and all!