iPad Musings

April 3, 2010. A day that will go down in geekdom infamy. This is the day that Apple released the long awaited iPad. My husband, known in some circles as Apple fan boy, was among the first purchasers of this nifty toy. He ordered it online and eagerly awaited its arrival via FedEx. This day rivaled Christmas morning as Mr. Oz's level of anticipation and excitement reminded me of young children waking up at 5am to find presents from Santa under the tree.

It is now April 17 and I think he's pretty much been glued to his iPad ever since. I feel a little bit like a woman scorned and have come to understand how significant others must feel when his or her spouse cheats. Perhaps it is less painful when the object of your partner's affection is made of silicone and not flesh and blood? Is an A4 processor better than a heart?


But, what is up with the name? iPad. Clearly there were no women on the development team. It conjures up commercials for feminine care products and sanitary napkins for those heavy data flow days. Surely, there could have been a better name choice out there. Was iTab already taken? Now, I must admit I've gone for test drive on the iPad and it is a fun little gadget. Lately, I've taken on the role of semi-early adopter, so will, undoubtedly, get one at some point. Being the informed consumer that I like to think I am, I did some digging to see what made Mr. Oz fall so head-over-heels, deeply in love. Here is what he said:

Q: What is your favorite thing about the iPad?
It's sheer utility and all the things I can do with it. Versatility. I can surf, read a book, watch a movie, listen to music, play games and I can do all of it instantaneously. The battery lasts all day so I don't have to keep it plugged it. I can be completely untethered. There is really no end to the possibilities.

Q: How is this different than a laptop?
Well, it's lighter -- 1 lb. -- and it's much smaller so I can carry it with me. And, there is a new Macbook that has 10 hours of battery life, but up until the iPad there was really nothing with as long of a battery life for what it can do. Netbooks can't even approach it. And, it's 'touch' so no mouse needed.

Q: Any concerns in being one of the first purchasers?
When I read the reviews, they were all glowing. That reassured me. Any concerns I had with being a beta-tester, went away completely on day 1. It blew me away. I didn't have any lag or crashes. It was great.

Q: What do you wish the iPad did that it doesn't currently offer?
I wish it used flash because a lot of sites use flash. The iPad doesn't display flash. I believe Steve Jobs has a problem with how flash uses processor power and burns the battery down. It doesn't work well with the iPad software. Probably even more so, I wish that sites, in general, didn't rely on flash so much.

A card reader slot would also be a nice add.

Q: Favorite apps?
The Kindle app is probably my favorite. Shout out to the Amazon.com folks. I can read a book on my Kindle, my iPhone and now my iPad and if I sync my devices, they will bookmark where I left off and I can pick it back up at the same point on any of these. Sketchbook Pro is also a fun one. It's cool to have a sketch pad at my fingertips. It has a lot of options.

Q: What advice do you have for anyone interested in getting an iPad?
Get one!

There you have it. Mr. Oz on his new favorite "gal."

I'm jealous of hardware and software. Have I officially entered the new millenia? Is this a sign of an impending apocolypse? Steve Jobs, what will you have for us next? I'm too scared to even think about it.

Miss Manners Hates Me

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about etiquette. What is deemed appropriate and respectable and what is considered impolite, disrespectful or otherwise rude – these questions are plaguing me. Torment over my likely infringement of tried and true social practices handed down from Queen Victoria to Martha Stewart leave me drenched in anxiety. I fear Miss Manners or Dear Abby would scowl and wag their skinny index fingers at me in disapproval if they knew the secret I am all too ashamed to admit. What is that secret, you ask? I’m a bad, bad person. I’ve done terrible things.

After nearly six months post-nuptials Mr. Oz and I still have about half of our wedding thank you notes left to send. I am a thank you note offender. Bless me Father, for I have sinned . . . Can I just say twelve Hail Mary’s and six Our Father’s and get on with my penance already? I know I’m not Catholic, but with all the guilt I feel, I might as well be.

I’m usually fairly prompt about stuff, ya know. I hardly ever pay my bills late. When invited to a party, I’m usually one of those guests that show up a few minutes early or, at the very least, right on time. I try to bring the host or hostess a gift. Nice bottle of wine. A loaf of crusty bread . . . ya know, the good stuff. Beyond my natural proclivity for timeliness, I’m also pretty fond of writing notes. I like the feeling of pen on paper. The flow of ink, its stained impression on a blank canvas, always leaves me with a sense of contentment. Finally, I can speak for Mr. Oz and myself when I say that we really, really are appreciative for all the nice gifts and well wishes we received. So, what’s my deal? I just can’t seem to get my act together on this front. Why? Why do I find this so damn difficult?

In an attempt to give me the benefit of the doubt, you might consider the fact that we just don’t have the necessary supplies handy. Maybe we are fresh out of note cards or envelopes. The post office ran out of stamps. Alas, that is not the case. We have a stack of cards, plenty of envelopes and postage.

After some soul searching I’ve come to a single conclusion. In short, I blame technology.
If it weren’t for the speed and efficiency of email, my Facebook wall-to-walls, instant messaging, texts and cell phones, we would still live in an age where writing and mailing letters was both the preeminent and the most practical form of communication. The habit of physically scratching our fondest regards to loved ones and acquaintances would be so cemented into our everyday lives that posting another three dozen thank you cards would be a small task happily accomplished. Remember when we used to have pen pals? I do. I’d write a 4, 5, maybe 6 page letter on my fabulous pink, Strawberry Shortcake stationary. Shoot that bad boy off and wait patiently for a reply some 2 to 4 odd weeks later. I did this with joy in my heart knowing my words, the paragraphs I took such care in crafting, were winging their way across the continent. Today, writing letters blows. Who the hell cares anymore? I almost NEVER get a real letter in the mail. And, if I did, I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I’m surprised stationary stores and pens still exist. The US postal service is old school just barely hanging on to its last shred of dignity. Today, it’s all about faster, easier, sound bite comments sent through the Internet ether. Today we are all business. Yesterday we had heart. The romance is dead people.

I’m not here to make excuses for myself (o.k., well, only a little bit), but I’m telling you, we are all caught in the middle of a war between what was and what is and my wedding thank you notes just happen to be the casualties. The propriety and dignity of days gone by is slowly fading. Nostalgia is for suckers. If you are among those waiting for your thank you card, know that I will continue to fight the good fight until it rests safely in your mailbox. I won’t rest until this battle has been won!

Now, excuse me whilst I go download more IPhone apps. A girl has got to do, what a girl has got to do.