Language Revolution Yo

Language is a living thing.  It morphs and bends, builds and undulates.  New words are born and some words die.  Some are twisted to work in different ways, in completely unique forms and uses.  With this in mind, I'm determined to be a language revolutionist.  My quest -- to spark a wave not unlike the bouncing beach ball wave that happens in stadiums during large sporting events.  I want to identify a new word that takes off and alters the very fabric of society.  Seriously.  This is my dream. 

I will, from time to time, try out my new words on y'all.   While I want your feedback, what I REALLY want is for all of you to adopt my new language and spread it far and wide.  I want to hear it on the streets and on t.v.  I want Matt Lauer to use it on the Today Show and Tre Park and Matt Stone to include it in an episode of Southpark.  C'mon.  We can do this!  Inventing language . .  yipee.  

OK, so here are a few for you to chew on.  

Glug.  Not a new word, I know.  But consider using it in a different way . . . as a noun.  So, when you go to the 7-Eleven and get a Big Gulp or you buy one of those 24 ounce sodas.  That is called a Glug.  Used in a sentence, "I drank a whole glug of that Dr. Pepper this afternoon and now I have to pee."  Glug as a noun is an awesome word.  

Maybe it would be more palatable if I put it into a bigger context?

Walking into a coffee shop, I approach the counter and order.

Me:  "Hi, I'd like a glug of non-fat latte with hazelnut please?"

Coffee shop employee:  "What?  Excuse me?  You want what?"

Me:  "A glug . . . you know, the biggest size you've got.  The kind of drink you can just chug and glug." 

Coffee shop employee:  "Ahhh, yes.  A glug.  Got it.  I will now change my menu and call our large size, a glug."  

Me:  "Thanks!"

You in?  

Here's another one.  We've all heard of a Blackberry, right?  Not the fruit.  The smart phone thingy that business-people types use to send emails and check stock reports and stuff.  Of course, some refer to the Blackberry as a crackberry due to users' seeming addiction to the technology and instant access.  I see your crackberry and raise you a Dingleberry.  We need to start referring to Blackberrys as Dingleberrys people.  I won't go into all my reasons why, but I think it works.  It hangs.  It dangles.  It dingles.  It's like that thing you can't shake. 

Thank you for your consideration.  Remember, you heard it hear first.  

My business cards with new title of "Language Revolutionist" will soon be printed. 

Apparently Australians Are Known for Their Licorice

Did you know that Aussie's are really good at making licorice?  I wasn't aware of this until very recently when I was out doing some shopping with my friend J-Hawk.  She bought a bag of some "fancy" licorice and offered me a sample.  OMG.  It was divine . . . intense fruity smell, soft and pliable texture, flavorful burst of strawberry in my mouth.  My interest was piqued.  I grabbed the bag and saw it claimed to be the finest of Australian licorice.  Now, I know the Aussie's are great at many things including Olympic swimming, Crocodile hunting and throwing shrimps on the barbie.  I had never heard of their prowess at making confections and sweet treats. 

My favorite brands, thus far, are Kookaburra and Darrell Lea.  In my research, I found that Darrell Lea has been making licorice since 1927 AND it is fat free and low in salt.  See below for excerpt from online review in case you don't believe me: 

Since 1927, Darrell Lea has been creating delicious and unique soft eating liquorice for Australians. The finest ingredients are combined to produce a soft treat that is 98% fat free and low in salt. Liquorice, with its nourishing qualities, is great to enjoy any occasion and Darrell Lea soft eating liquorice is best enjoyed straight from the bag.

Hey, it has nourishing qualities.  Yeah it does.  

I absolutely love discovering things like this.  Makes me feel like I'm on the cutting edge . . . a trendsetter who is way "in the know."  Unfortunately now I am addicted to the stuff.  Every time I go to the store, I look for this delightful Australian licorice. I have a stash at my desk at work, in my car and at home.  Word must be getting out and sales must be up as I've seen more and more stores carry the candy.  However, the down side of this is also more out-of-stocks.  Just today I was in Target and where there were once six facings of Darrell Lea licorice, all I saw was empty space.  Target was completely OUT.  Gone.  None.  What did I find instead?  Market Pantry 'Aussie-style chewy candy.'  Target is making their own Australian licorice, er, "Aussie style."  It's not really Australian you see.  It only pretends to be.  Poser.  

Ok, Ok.  I bought it.  It tastes good.  Dammit. 

Oh and Wiley Wallaby also makes an Australian Style licorice.  Also tasty, but manufactured in Perham, MN.  

If I worked for Twizzler, I'd be looking into the secrets of Aussie licorice making ASAP.  Those Aussie's must be stealing share. Who knew the licorice category could be so competitive?

Thank you Australia.  I salute you.