My Amigo

Broke my ankle last weekend. I blame winter and her frozen sheets of death covering the ground and choking all forms of life. I am really thankful there was no one with a video camera around when I went down. I shudder thinking about the possible visual replay of my fall all flailing and bouncing, twisting and shouting. Broken bones suck. They really do. First there is shooting hot pain, then swelling, then comes more throbbing pain. X-rays, storm trooper boots, crutches, bruising, more pain and imprisonment in your house for days on end are just some of the fun things one can experience after a broken ankle. But, such is life on the tundra of upper Midwest ice age-ville.

Since I have what my orthopedist calls a "middle of the road" fracture, I must keep my foot fairly immobile over the next couple of weeks in order to avoid surgery. Apparently, the rest of my ankle and foot look o.k. so if the break starts to heal and nothing shifts out of alignment, I'm good to go. This past week I've been confined mostly to my bed and couch. Due to the conveniences of modern technology, I've been able to work from home. Due to the wonder of modern pharmacology, my pain has been relatively dulled. Have you hugged your pharmacist today? You really should.

While I've been trying to stay positive, I have to admit a few moments of craptacular annoyance and depression have befallen me. I really can't complain as it could have been SO much worse. However, now and again, I lament my immobile situation. I get antsy just being at home and laying around doing nothing. There's the whole ordeal of taking a shower and going to the bathroom. Not being able to easily access things, get myself a glass of water, take my dog outside, etc. Bums me out. After 6 straight days trapped inside, I finally got to leave my house today. Mr. Oz patiently helped me into the car and took me to the mall. He ran in and procured one of these bad boys:


Yep, that's what the old folks call The Amigo! You too could use one of these if you should happen to become incapacitated or otherwise crippled. You just need to hand over your license and away you go just scooting about the shopping center. It doesn't go too fast, but there's really no need to play Indy 500 with The Amigo. She might not have power, but the tight turning radius can't be beat . . . able to cut through tight store aisles and round displays like crazy. And check out that handy basket. Sweet, no?

Seriously, it was nice to not have to crutch my way around. If that was my only option, there's no way I would have been able to go out. But I felt like an idiot. I mean, this electric scooter business is for senior citizens, right? What am I, 90? I got over it, but still.

First stop . . . GNC for a big bottle of calcium pills w/ Vitamin D. Momma needs to build some bone bridges y'all. I figure if I pop a couple of those calcium nuggets everyday, I'll be right as rain in no time. Second stop, Barnes & Noble for some magazines to occupy my time whilst I lay in bed and moan. Third stop, coffee shop. Latte = milk = calcium = bone building goodness!

At the end of my mall visit, I was almost sad to part ways with The Amigo. We had grown tight. My prowess at the wheel was bordering on mastery. Amigo, you truly became my friend. I'm sure I will see you again soon. But, not too soon.