My Amigo

Broke my ankle last weekend. I blame winter and her frozen sheets of death covering the ground and choking all forms of life. I am really thankful there was no one with a video camera around when I went down. I shudder thinking about the possible visual replay of my fall all flailing and bouncing, twisting and shouting. Broken bones suck. They really do. First there is shooting hot pain, then swelling, then comes more throbbing pain. X-rays, storm trooper boots, crutches, bruising, more pain and imprisonment in your house for days on end are just some of the fun things one can experience after a broken ankle. But, such is life on the tundra of upper Midwest ice age-ville.

Since I have what my orthopedist calls a "middle of the road" fracture, I must keep my foot fairly immobile over the next couple of weeks in order to avoid surgery. Apparently, the rest of my ankle and foot look o.k. so if the break starts to heal and nothing shifts out of alignment, I'm good to go. This past week I've been confined mostly to my bed and couch. Due to the conveniences of modern technology, I've been able to work from home. Due to the wonder of modern pharmacology, my pain has been relatively dulled. Have you hugged your pharmacist today? You really should.

While I've been trying to stay positive, I have to admit a few moments of craptacular annoyance and depression have befallen me. I really can't complain as it could have been SO much worse. However, now and again, I lament my immobile situation. I get antsy just being at home and laying around doing nothing. There's the whole ordeal of taking a shower and going to the bathroom. Not being able to easily access things, get myself a glass of water, take my dog outside, etc. Bums me out. After 6 straight days trapped inside, I finally got to leave my house today. Mr. Oz patiently helped me into the car and took me to the mall. He ran in and procured one of these bad boys:


Yep, that's what the old folks call The Amigo! You too could use one of these if you should happen to become incapacitated or otherwise crippled. You just need to hand over your license and away you go just scooting about the shopping center. It doesn't go too fast, but there's really no need to play Indy 500 with The Amigo. She might not have power, but the tight turning radius can't be beat . . . able to cut through tight store aisles and round displays like crazy. And check out that handy basket. Sweet, no?

Seriously, it was nice to not have to crutch my way around. If that was my only option, there's no way I would have been able to go out. But I felt like an idiot. I mean, this electric scooter business is for senior citizens, right? What am I, 90? I got over it, but still.

First stop . . . GNC for a big bottle of calcium pills w/ Vitamin D. Momma needs to build some bone bridges y'all. I figure if I pop a couple of those calcium nuggets everyday, I'll be right as rain in no time. Second stop, Barnes & Noble for some magazines to occupy my time whilst I lay in bed and moan. Third stop, coffee shop. Latte = milk = calcium = bone building goodness!

At the end of my mall visit, I was almost sad to part ways with The Amigo. We had grown tight. My prowess at the wheel was bordering on mastery. Amigo, you truly became my friend. I'm sure I will see you again soon. But, not too soon.

Fallen Heroes

Have you heard about baseball home run record holder, Mark McGwire? Well, it appears Mark fueled his power hits with some muscle enhancing juice (i.e. steroids) and he has finally admitted to cheating. In his announcement, McGwire was all sadness and regret. A few tears may have leaked their way out as he spoke of the difficulty in coming forward and sharing the regrettable news with his family and friends. In the same breathe, McGwire seemed to back peddle a bit as he tried to convince us that he was a proven home run hitter in his high school, college and minor league years -- pre roids presumably. He would have us believe that the performance enhancing drugs were not a factor in his stellar at bat performance. What?! Sorry, I ain't buying it. And then there is Tiger Woods. I won't even get into that whole situation.

Sports are not necessarily my thing. I'm not what you would call a baseball fan. I am familiar with the game and appreciate the history, it's slower pace and reliance on the strange combination of power, patience and precision. Baseball includes a great deal of tradition and pride. McGwire, like so many other recent players, has diminished the legacy of baseball as America's favorite past time. Beyond this, what I'm really disturbed by is the loss of heroes. Listening to the radio this morning and hearing the news of McGwire's fall from grace, I thought of the little kids who may have once admired the player. Perhaps they are older now -- teens or young adults. Maybe they wore his jersey, collected his baseball cards, idolized McGwire for his amazing feats on the field. To many, he was a hero . . . someone to emulate and look up to. He represented possibility, effort and hope. Not anymore. Same goes for Tiger. Turns out he's just a guy who had a cocktail waitress in every city.

Who are our heroes today? Do we even have any? Are heroes the stuff of Greek mythology and science fiction? Is it wrong to impart such high expectations onto a mere human? Is this too much of a burden to place on one individual? And, why does the fall of yet one more "hero" trouble me so greatly? I think we all need role models, people to look up to and pattern ourselves after, gold standards to measure ourselves against. It is in the light of comparison to these admirable examples that we are able to identify our own shortcomings, seek to make improvements and become better people. When we have no one to emulate, how low does our own bar drop?

Now, I'm not suggesting that we don't have great people walking among us each and everyday. We do. Beloved family, loyal friends, trusted colleagues, volunteers, kind neighbors are all around us. These people are heroes in their own right. Perhaps we need to talk more about these behind-the-scenes heroes, focus on the everyday and little acts of beauty in the world all around us. Stop focusing on these mega-stars and sports gods. They only seem to disappoint us in the end. And I, for one, am sick and tired of being continually disappointed.